Heavy Discussions and Mental Distress in Journal 2022

J and I had some hard talks today.

He worries, that he not only makes me happy but depressed. I guess, maybe. I don’t know but I love J alot, he’s the softest, kindest, man I’ve ever met. I had to take a hot shower hours later to process this among other things we spoke about.

J stills feels guilt about dating me. I was born 18 year old he took on a protective, older brother role over, i get why he’s upset. But man, I just love him and I wanna shake him when he suggests he’s a bad person.

I spoke to serenity/kaguya about it on insta and she told me to just put my foot down and share my true feelings. So I have, I told him I appreciate what he’s done and I get it and I’m thankful for him being there for me.

And like always, he kindly said he’s happy being t.