Venti in Current Events

I started napping after my shifts. I know it’s not the best idea but I am past the point of caring. Caring about anything, really. My depression is not subsiding since I surrendered to it. I know that this is my mind grieving the loss of previous belief structures. Big or small. I lost a lot of respect for people that I looked up to. This too shall pass, of course. The grieving process that is.

Truthers, I am talking about truthers. The ones that I look up to have all recently pushed rhetoric about people with same-sex attractions as people that have a preventable disease that needs to be cured. That it is a defect. They want a future where these abnormal people do not exist. These people that I looked up to are the measure of what is natural and unnatural. Same old rhetoric as always. It leaves an aftertaste of eugenics. It’s another cult.

Genocide is the dramatic word I use to describe Christianity. It demands the death of everything that isn’t Christian, for everybody to be born-again as a Christian. That everybody was born to be a good Roman. These fundamentalists I like to poke. It gets them to show their true colours. They are vile and profane individuals just like everybody else. Not elite for a second. It’s masochistic of me to bother, especially while I am this sensitive.

Everybody thinks they are the elite and wants everything else to serve them. In a captured essence. The more I look at any movement. At all of the cults. Everybody is fighting over things that do not exist in reality but just exist in our concepts. Even cult America right now is fighting over abortion rights. The root of the problem is that they all agree to believe that nine people dressed in ridiculous costumes have the authority to decide what they can and cannot do. Of course, those costumes are priest robes because their courts are captured by the Vatican like everybody else.

I’ll get over it. I’m just raw and sensitive at the moment.

First world problems but I wasn’t able to park in my spot twice this week. That inconvenience ruined my evenings. Twice this week I started to cook only to discover that I am missing a key ingredient. My roommate does not communicate with me whenever she uses anything up. She does not have to concern herself with anything grocery-related, I am parenting her with that. On top of everything else. I have to cook and clean up after her also. She’s such a lazy, entitled Taurus woman. Not Amber Heard level. However, she was a lot worse when she was a lousy drunk at the beginning.

I feel like there is random tension between Toni, my roommate, and me. She started only cooking for herself. Yes, I did just say that I do the cooking but she has been pulling her weight in that regard lately. I always cook enough for both of us. She just stopped, I don’t know why I care. Oh right, because then I have to wait until she is done so that I can get in the kitchen to cook myself something.

I feel like there is tension between Bev and I. She’s always too busy. She actually is always busy but she has been cold and distant. She gets like this sometimes. I don’t want to overthink it.

Something else that seems to have surfaced from the depths of my mind is all of the friendships I had just a few years ago. When I lost everything I learned real quick who was there for me. My cousin Curtis messaged me on his birthday to tell me that it was his birthday. I knew it was, I didn’t care. He didn’t message me on my mine. Not since 2016 when I lost saw him. Or should I say her? He’s a transvestite. Calls himself two-spirited. A first nation’s term that was appropriated by the gender extremists. Whatever.

I need to practice becoming mindful. I need to turn my brain off for a little bit. What I really want right now is somebody in my life on my level. Someone who can relate to me and resonate with me. I have to water myself down with everybody. I have nobody to talk to about what I am passionate about. Nobody I can just text up and hang out with. Everybody is just lame. They’re all fat too. I said what I said. Aside from Toni.

Anyway, I vented. I didn’t want to run again today because my legs are so sore but I will do it anyway. I at least have The Next Level to look forward to. A sequel to a documentary called Level. It’s a documentary put together by flat-earthers. The flat-earth is always presented in the wrong model. The people involved in this project got to do it correctly.