But I don't want a sub in Everything

So I’m here at work trying to be all stealthy with my internet usage so that no one sees that instead of diligently toiling away at some mundane task I am really looking for a free agent to pick up for my fantasy football team. As I open up the site I am ambushed by 5….5 dollar footlllllong, as I am frantically trying to hit the mute button. F&%#ing Subway.

I’ve been watching COPS recently, it’s one of those shows I’ll watch when there’s really nothing else on TV and I’m too lazy to get up and go to bed. I always have a few episodes on my DVR. I love it when they have the dog go after a suspect (all suspects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law). The best part, at least for me, is when the dog is tearing apart a guys leg and the cops are screaming “get your hands up”. There is that moment of conflict on the suspects face, the natural reaction is to try and push the dog away from you but you also want the whole thing to be over so you kind of want to give up and put your hands up, but the dog is ripping your leg to shreds. It’s really a no win situation for the suspect. I’m probably a little sick in the head for enjoying that so much.

Last night I went out to the 99 (local chain of restaurants/bar) to meet a friend to have a beer or two or more. He got there first and texted me that is was crowded but he found a seat. I texted back that I was on my way and would be there in a few minutes. It’s a large U shaped bar, it’s crowded but I see him right away, his back is to me as he is facing the bar. I pat him on the back as I slide in next to him and say “what’s up buddy”, he turns, it’s not him. The guy has a who the f@&k are you look on his face. I think I had the Southwest wanna get away look on my face. I apologized as I was backing away. Saw my friend, who was cracking up, on the other side of the bar. I get over to him and he says “making friends?” My response “fu@k you!”