I Think its Time For me to Emerge in Every day scata

4/18/22
3:30 pm

So. What’s up?

My brain keeps glitching. Not just here, not knowing what to write , but in other, worrisome ways. Like. I’ll put the water on in the sink to get hot water, go get something, and totally forget I have the water running. I didn’t know what day it was today, but thankfully one brain cell was working and directed me to the right house. However, as soon as I got to the gravel road, I checked my calendar to make sure I was supposed to be there.

I’m staying at Monty the border collie’s house for a month. I only took 5 sets of scrubs. Even when I’m sitting for a week, I bring 8 just in case I need to change. Yes, they have a washer/dryer. Yes, I can use them. It’s just the point.

And that’s not all that I’m forgetting. So it’s worrisome.

Don’t know what’s going on with my body, either. I get winded vacuuming. One flight of stairs, and I have to sit and catch my breath. I had to keep stopping for a breath while I was mopping today. I feel weak as fuck. Like my body just wants to collapse. I still have a cough from that cold I had. Yes, I know. “Then quit smoking, I bet that will make it go away” It’s not just me smoking. I didn’t have a cigarette until I left April’s. That was about 2 pm

I need labs done. I’m way overdue for those. Can’t afford it. And tbh I would like a chest x-ray. Probably wouldn’t tell me anything but that I’m a hypochondriac, or I’m lying to get attention, or lying so I have an excuse to be lazy.

Of course I can’t afford a CXR either. So if I suddenly drop dead, I wasn’t lying lol

No. Seriously. I cannot afford anything (and that’s my fault, too.) to be done. Whenever I’m going to die, I won’t know what killed me lol

Sorry. This was super whiny.

see ya