New thoughts on stuff. in Since OD is shutting down....

So I’ve been doing some serious thinking on and off the past couple of years about my kid’s Dad and realize that I would like to talk to a lawyer and see what my options are as far as terminating rights and I have a few questions about child support. I know in my state you gotta wait until they haven’t made any effort to see the kid or pay for a year before anything can be done. He’s talked about signing over his rights almost 500 times but when asked to, he said he wouldn’t do it.

It’s just insane how this guy doesn’t want to be a Dad, has missed out on 95% of her life by his own choosing, refuses to pay child support, and yet wants to hang out to his rights just to control me. Even as of right now, I haven’t spoke to him in almost 6 months, he hasn’t seen her in 8, and hasn’t paid in 10 months.

I’d like to see about getting his rights terminated just for the simple fact that I worry about more lies coming out that will affect my child and I don’t want to ever worry about needing his permission or signature for anything. I don’t even care about the money anymore because all I want is my peace.

I plan on talking to a lawyer and just see what my options are with everything and what I can do. It would be great to get full custody. I know that he will never try and get rights because then he’d actually have to be a parent which to him would be giving up control because while she would be in his care, he would have to worry about what I’m doing. He’s never cared about being a parent but he does care to have some kind of ties with me, however he possibly can and that’s why I want everyone to stop talking to him.

Honestly, I believe that narcs exist because people keep tolerating their behavior. My brother for instance LOVES to bring him up and as soon as I go to speak on it, I get cut off. Like okay great, QUIT TALKING ABOUT HIM!

As hard as it’s been being a single Mom and struggling financially and emotionally, I know that my daughter is better without him around and I truly appreciate my life with her. She mentions her Dad sometimes but it’s just when we’re at home and she’s bored. She’s asked me to find her a new Dad and she deserves and Dad that wants to be in her life for the right reasons. All he’s ever done is use her to come around and torture me.

The best gift he can give to my daughter is to just go away and stay away. I don’t get how he can talk about signing over his rights but then ask to see her. I totally understand that child support and visitation are 2 separate things but if you don’t want any responsibility then you shouldn’t get to just see her when you feel like it either. I’m a Mom 24/7 and I couldn’t imagine being selfish enough to not see her for months at a time and act like it’s no big deal to only come around when I want to. It just makes a lot of messy hurt and chaos for a small child.

My brother said to me the other day that I can’t protect her forever. My best friend says that I can. I have the right to keep him away until she’s 18 and I also have a BC that doesn’t have his name on it. I don’t plan to ever keep any secrets and if she wants to reach out to him, I’ll be fully supportive of that but I’m not going to allow him to be the in and out Dad ever again. It’s just hurtful and confusing. At 4 years old, she’s too young to be put through his selfish game. All he does is just use her to take pictures for social media where he looks like the best Dad when he’s absent as fuck.

I will protect her as it’s my job as her Mother. I’ve spent enough time proving to my friend and other people that I’m trying to be as reasonable as I can just to be tortured by this person and I can’t spend my lifetime doing that.

So yeah, I’m going to try and find a free consultation with a lawyer and just ask about terminating his rights and go from there. I don’t care about receiving another dime or him being present anymore. I care about my daughter’s happiness and my peace.