Let's Take Some Questions From the Audience in Things That I'm Grateful For

WHERE:
At my condo overlooking the river just outside of Bangkok with nothing to do because it’s a week-long holiday and all my friends are just arriving back from orgies in Phuket.

WEARING:
Basketball shorts and a black tanktop because this is my way of procrastinating going to the gym.

READING:
I’ve actually got a gig proofreading and editing English textbooks so I’m tearing through that… I’m not sure I understand the plot, though.

WATCHING/LISTENING:
I just finished watching Not Me and that was a good series, not as good as everyone seemed to tell me it was, but it was the first time I actually liked OffGun in something. I’ve also been hunting around to try and find the Cherry Magic movie that was released last month in Japan. I’ve mostly been listening to Elton John lately as I’m trying to get back to my roots… especially since pop music nowadays seems rather bereft of talent. Why are songs 2 minutes again? Is it the 1950s?!

MAKING:
I’m going to make a big bunch of pasta to take to a potluck tomorrow.

FOOD:
I recently made a video on Instagram about food, mainly it was about how social anxiety isn’t simply “being afraid of people”, which is often how I see people phrase it. I talked about how I feel really uncomfortable eating in front of people because of an incident that happened to me as a child. “So I’m cooking at home a lot and that’s why I never want to eat with you.”

MOVEMENT:
My stress about the upcoming Visa run has made me very lethargic, so movement is not a high priority.

HEALTH:
I’m fine. I’ve never been in better shape in my life, I can do things with my body that I couldn’t even do when I was a teenager. Plus, I’ve finally found a good balance with my diet so that my PKU isn’t overwhelming me.

PRODUCTIVITY:
One of the things I’m learning to let go of is this word. I’m supposed to be on vacation and I’m still working like crazy. Why do I have to be productive every goddamn minute of my life?

PURCHASES:
Purchases require money.

THINKING ABOUT:
I am also trying to stop thinking. I think too much. I spend so much time reflecting that I don’t actually accomplish anything.

PLANS:
I have to go to Cambodia, and that is turning into a whole problem situation and I just want it to be over.

WORKING ON:
I finally bought the pillow to complete my bedroom set so I’m doing laundry and cleaning so that I can find some peace in my space that I refuse to leave.

FRUSTRATED ABOUT:
I’m extremely anxious about getting back into the country. When I leave, there are a whole series of things that I have to do to get back here and I’m just worried that I’ll be stuck in Cambodia.

HAPPY WITH:
I’m too stressed right this second to be happy. But I’m thankful that I have a job to come back to, a place to live and friends that are trying to help me.

LOOKING FORWARD TO:
May

RANDOM THINGS/PHOTOS:
I eat about 14 apples and 9 bananas a week.

I also eat rice every day… yet I continue to lose weight at a frightening pace.

RECENT DISCOVERY/OBSESSION:
None. I think I’m done discovering for a little bit, I need to adjust.

PARENTING:
The thought of having children has popped into my head recently, but I always come to the same conclusion… who the fuck wants to have children in this world right now? Seriously, I predict that whenever this whole geopolitical situation with Russia calms down, even if it’s 20 years from now, there will be a Baby Boom 2.0 that happens because suddenly people will feel like now it’ll be safe for children… like the 1950s all over again… except it won’t because the planet is fucked.

At least I’ll be dead before that whole garden blooms.