Struggling in Random Public Stuffs

I’m fighting to just not cancel my birthday trip to put the money toward bills. I’m a little behind, but I’m slowly catching up with the mortgage. I used most of my tax return to catch up and even get ahead on the other bills. Now I just have to worry about the mortgage and electricity. If I didn’t have to get propane this early, I would’ve been fine, but that was another $665 out of my refund that I could’ve used to be caught up on everything, and halfway caught up on the mortgage.

If I cut out my entire trip and get a full refund, I would be caught up on my mortgage, but I’ve been trying to take this trip since I turned 40 (04-04-2020) and with all the health issues, I am thinking I have a good eight years left of mobility. I want to take this trip badly. I’m fighting so hard to take it. I haven’t been on a real vacation since 2016.

Help.

I’m also hoping that I’ll have enough saved up for the little extras for the trip. Everything necessary is paid for: roundtrip flight (with no layovers!!), hotel downtown to save and for convenience, and game ticket. I’ll have the cash to eat, obviously, but it would be nice to explore a little more…maybe even get a beer at the game. I’ve sent out my CashApp, Venmo, and PayPal online to friends and family to just donate the dinner/drinks/gift money there. I don’t need anything, just want the trip to go well. I want it to be a trip to remember!

So please help me stay on track for my damn trip. Ugh.