Break Down Town in Thirty-Seven

How are we all doing today? Hope you didn’t get randomly drug tested today. And if you did, that you are in a legal state so that yesterday doesn’t matter!

I hope you are all having a good time. It’s been well over a month since I wrote anything here. Things are pretty much the same over here. We’re finally getting into the warmer weather. I had to turn on the cooler in the living room. Another swamp cooler, but at least this house is tiny and I can cool off all the rooms with one strategically placed vent lol.

Soooo yeah, how have we all been over the last month? I have been up and down. A lot going on. I finally saw a dr, got some referrals and I’ll be seeing a Neurologist in Las Cruces on May 17th. I have heard lots of Mixed reviews on his demeanor and whatnot, but I dealt with Dr B. in Tucson, so if he seems like he doesn’t want to even try and listen to me, then I will try and see someone else.

Anywho, so that was ok. I still need the referral to a Rheum, but I restarted some of my meds. I need the Actemra though. That’s what ties everything together and makes everything work.

So hopefully soon I can get some relief there.

We are still waiting for our order to be signed by the judge. The damn judge assigned to our case got reassigned to a different department or something and so now they are waiting for a new judge to be assigned to the case. The FUCKED UP thing? That judge won’t be here until JULY.

You’ve got to be fucking joking.

Our agent has worked her ass off for us though, and she is doing everything she can to try and get SOMEONE to sign the order. It just needs a signature. THAT’S IT! Nobody understands why it’s taking so long to get a simple signature. The lawyer working on our case is going to try to also recoup some “damages” from the court for making us wait so long. It’s been on the judges desk since February 2nd.

On that front though, if you’re on FB you already know all of this. But we almost lost my dad’s car. Our plan was to pay off the balance and be done with it. But since we have had to wait, they let me know that it was a matter of “pay it off, refinance or surrender” so I was at the point of just surrender it because I don’t want to try and stress myself out over something I can’t get.

But as I said, our agent worked her ass off, got us an $11,000 advance (we’ll have to pay back like $1200 of it) so we could pay that off. Speaking of that, I need to call the lady and be like uhm, where is my notice lol.

Anywho, so there is that. We are just hanging tight, trying to scrape by once again. I had to set up a payment plan for my electric bill because of the deposit required for it to be in my name. So got that sorted out.

We also had to have a plumber come out and unclog our sewer. I have NO idea how long it had been backing up, because it wasn’t backing up into the house. It was just bubbling over at the inlet right outside my kitchen window. So one day the dogs were super interested and I lifted up the pallet my dad had over it and OMG it was nasty.

Of course this was a Friday evening, so I waited until Monday and someone came out and did it and all has been well so far. We definitely need to redo the pipes though because they are so fucking old.

Uhmmm yeah so what else. Finally had a conversation with my brothers about everything. It just seems like we went around and around about the same shit from 15 years ago. Brother M asked if we wanted to sit down with SIL and both brother A and I were like no not really. Brother A sent an email to SIL apologizing, and asking what we could do to make things better, and all she did was tell him he was a liar, that his apology was fake and that he was a racist.

So we basically told Brother M that how the hell are we supposed to even respond to that? What does she want? Everything we do to try and make things better gets met with that kind of attitude. So why do we even bother?

So right now, we’re communicating with him and that’s it. It’s just pathetic and childish. But that’s “how she is”. Well that’s how she’s gonna get treated. Fuck it. I don’t have time to worry about her feelings when she doesn’t care about mine either.

We picked up 4 new baby rats! They were born February 17th and we picked them up on April 1st. The breeder was going to be in our area, so she brought them with her. We took Rizzo with us and he rode in the cage with them on the way home.

We just put them all in the same cage on Saturday of this last week. Two of them are dwarf so they are miniscule compared to the big boys. And the boys we got in December? They are fucking MASSIVE. Like Rizzo size already, and they are only 6 months old. I think we got two jumbo and one standard because Gozer is pretty normal size. Egon and Louis are just huge.

So it’s been interesting the last couple days, as the four new babies get used to being with the BIG boys. There’s been some screaming and chasing, and pinning, but for the most part it’s all dramatics. The dwarf babies, Lurk and Thanquol, are deservedly weary of the other giant boys, but all of the big boys are being pretty gentle. Gozer is the only one who is slightly aggressive. He wants to smell and play at the same time and he just goes really fast for them.

Louis on the other hand just wants to play and he gets over excited and scares them. Rizzo is big so that in and of itself scares them. Slowly but surely Lurk and Thanquol are getting used to them though. There has been minimal squealing today. Unfortunately that is just something that you have to deal with for a couple days. We dealt with it with Rizzo and Fievel. Both were squealy because Nigel was pretty mean. But They all got along well after Fievel got over his URI.

There wasn’t much of any noise with Louis, Egon and Gozer and Rizzo and Fievel. They all got along really well really quickly. Snikrit and Boneripper are the other two babies, but they are standard size, so they aren’t as weary of the big boys, because they will be big boys themselves soon.

So having 9 boys has been interesting and especially having the two dwarf babies. They are so freaking cute and if you’re on my FB you can see pics there. or TikTok has some videos too. Hah.

Anyway, so I had a severe meltdown about a week ago. I don’t remember what was going on exactly but I just got overwhelmed with everything. The dishes were too much, the laundry, the dogs, the rats, dinner, it was hot, I was missing my dad something awful that day.

I was working on dishes and I think I splashed myself with water because I dropped something or something and I just let out this REALLLLLLLYYY loud scream. My neighbors probably heard it. Randy jumped up like OMG WHAT HAPPENED? And I just lost my shit. I screamed about how tired I was. How fed up I was with waiting for something DECENT to happen. How fucked up life was right now and how much I fucking missed my parents.

Then I proceeded to actively SOB for about two hours after that. Like even thinking about it I tear up a little bit because the devastation I felt that day was something I have never felt before. Both of my parents are gone. My life is gone and I have to rebuild. That is what hit me in the face that day.

The amount of money we are getting back from the house situation is only going to allow us to do part of what we need to get this house in a state that we can be comfortable in. And that includes electrical work and insulation. That is pretty much all we will be able to afford. We need plumbing, flooring, ceilings and that whole back room needs everything done to it.

But that won’t be in the cards for a while. The GOOD thing is that I will still be getting my SSDI, and we won’t have a $350 car payment, and once we do have that money, we will pay off the shed and that will be another $400 we won’t be spending a month. So $750 that we won’t have to pay every month will equate to probably about $300 that could go to savings a month.

There’s a few other monetary items that need to be factored in but those aren’t going to be relevant until we get the house fixed up more, unfortunately. Like MY business stuff, with the hammocks and my art. I still want to do all of that. I just do not have the space to do it. Which we can’t create a space for me until we have a bedroom. Which we won’t have until we can fix the electrical situation in the house, which we can’t do.....

UNTIL THE FUCKING JUDGE SIGNS OUR ORDER AND WE GET THAT MONEY!

Uggghhhhhhhh....

People try to tell me all the time that I don’t do enough to get myself to where I need to go. But they fail to see that 99% of the time, it’s not ME that isn’t doing enough.

Anyway, so that’s that I guess. I think I have covered everything.

If you’re interested in following along in life, then you can add me on Facebook because that’s where I keep up with things the most.

yep, have a good one friends.

Last updated August 18, 2022