What is a Lady? in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

So anyway, I was in the middle of one of my seven* lateral raise sets when two ladies changed exercises and started doing hip thrusts in my general direction. Being orthogonal to me, relatively easy to ignore. However, as you can tell from the title, my mind started pondering the nature of the word “lady”.

When I think lady, I think dignified, and I think older than me. Obviously, the emphasis is on the later, as some ladies might think themselves undignified when they’re crushing the iron. I said older than me. If you’re over, say, 60, you might already see my point.

I’ll spell it out. 15 years ago, if I said, “Yeah, there were some ladies at the gym…” I’d hit the age-range I’m thinking off. I was twenty-something, so a lady being someone older than twenty makes sense. Wide range.

Now, it’s a damn gym, so I didn’t ask for their ID. I’d say one had silver hair, and one was more age-appropriate. Then again, maybe both are age appropriate. (My sister went grey at 20. Seriously. I thought she looked bad-ass, but she didn’t like it.)

I got to thinking about the term “man”. As it is possible that if I called you a lady, you might be offended. When I hear “man”, I think rapist, I think asshole, I think evil. I think arrogant. I think jerk. So, if you call me a man, I internally go “Meeh, don’t call me that”, but I otherwise get the intention. Yes, Virginia, you could write an easy dissertation on my internalized misandry.

I generally say I prefer “boy”, yet. If you were to say “hey, boy”, it’s obviously a diminutive term. Same reason women don’t like being called girls. Apologies if my terms are all over the place. To think twenty years ago, identifying someone by their genitals was offensive. (Sex vs gender; time and place to genitalize someone depends. Women if referring to the societal construct or internal identity, “people with vaginas” if a more anatomical experience. Thinking offhand. Strike that, in the context of this entry, saying “those humans with vaginas” would be in bad taste and potentially offensive. Hey, I do think before I type. I just sometimes care, sometimes not.)

(I think my wild ROOM WHERE PENISES RUN WILD doesn’t matter, because I do see those little pink dumbbells occasionally. They’re kind of there. It’s… nonspecific, not aimed at anyone in particulate. Naming or identifying someone solely by their genitals, that’s reductive. Aaaaand I’m typing this after I wrote most of this post. Oops.

Furthermore, if there are any transguys in there, well. Farm Fresh Vaginas tend not to be free range often. Aaaand only one person got that reference. Ask me.)

The general “hey man” doesn’t irk me. It’s a sign of respect.

Eh, not going to edit and reorganize my thoughts. Unless this flows for someone. It’s the same thing as you being irked by being called a “lady”, but not “m’lady”. Hear me out.

If someone says “excuse me, lady”, it can come off as sarcastic or even condescending. “Excuse me, lady.“

However, a “excuse me, m’lady” generally denotes an iota of chivalry. Works best if the person actually knows you, but still.

Yes, folks, this is what my train of thought does between sets sometimes.

Though, if I need to get the attention of a male-who-has-lots-of-fees attention, I just default to a generic non-gendered vanilla “excuse me.” Gasp. How novel.

Hey, I didn’t coin or event the pink tax. Females do have a lot of fees attached to them.

*That’s actually not an exaggeration. I’ve thrown caution to the wind and look at that, I’m starting to look like I lift, broseph.

I can’t be the only one who drags their feet on entries they have planned, versus finding it so easy to be stream-of-consciousness.

I’d joke someone could write a dissertation on what a lady is, but people literally do. Women’s Studies and all. On a grander level, gender is psychology, psychology is biology, biology is chemistry, chemistry is physics, physics is math, math is philosophy, philosophy is sociology, sociology is gender, and AROUND AND AROUND WE GOOOOOO!!!!

Last updated March 10, 2022