Bad Day in Current Events

I did not have a good day. I was livid the whole way through my shift. It started first thing this morning after I clocked in. Yesterday I had to do a project which was super simple, though not easy. I just had to decontaminate four sets of shelves in an aisle. That just means that I have to go through all of the products to make sure that they are where they are supposed to be. I like organizing and decluttering, I was here for it. They were tedious bays in the worst aisle for my team to work in but that’s neither here nor there. I was given four sets of updated planograms and a list of exiting articles which confused me. My boss called in sick that day so I worked with all of the coaches on my team to help me make sense of what I was supposed to do. The consensus was to set everything to the new planograms and then decontaminate the bays.

I asked for help because the five-hour project turned into a ten-hour project. I called it the stockocalypse because I had hundreds of products to sort out after I set the shelves. I’m not expected to organize it and put it all away but I don’t want to leave it for anyone else. That’s where things went south for me.

While I was executing the project, Leah from the department came at Linda, my helper, and Linda got vindictive and spiteful and started dumping all of the overstocks into a bin. I could not just leave it like that for Leah. Leah works hard, everything always gets dumped on her and I appreciate what she does. She’s a big personality and she can get a little hot-headed but never at me. I’m lovely to her. I did have to leave her a few boxes to put away but I did the absolute hard parts for the department. Every other single tedious step was done. That is how I left my day yesterday.

Today, this morning, the overnight crew was working in the bays that I needed to return to. Linda, my helper, received the drama and upsets yet again but this time I was around so I got to step in. Linda is a Virgo, she ain’t gonna just take shit. I made sure that I owned up to everything that they insisted on complaining about. They were so nit-picky that my penmanship was even a problem. First of all, my penmanship does indeed suck. My writing today looks exactly the same way it did in fifth grade because that is when I started to learn to type. That’s neither here nor there. Linda called our boss over who ended that drama.

My boss then explained how I did not commit to the assignment. I was just to decontaminate the bays. Linda took it personally that we wasted our time. Then she says that she wants to drag out finishing it by wasting more time. She’s a slacker that way. She’s either very on or very off. There is no grey area. That’s very Virgo of her.

I was cool, calm and collected about that slap in the face at first. I was trying to console Linda. Then it hits me later and that’s when I lost control. Leah comes at me about the boxes I left her.

It is not my job to make you happy! I explained.

I can not remember what her retort was but I know that it was submissive and the entire interaction ate me alive until I finally caught her alone later. I apologized to her. I explained to her that she did not deserve that sass from me. I explained to her that I appreciate her work and her work ethic. That I always recognize when she had worked because it makes my job a lot easier. She explained to me that she shrugged it off as me just venting and that she still loves me and that everything is okay. She really was not bothered but I could not accept a reality where she did not feel appreciated. we also agreed that there is not enough communication between all of the teams in the store. However, my communication was the problem but she did not see it that way but I will work on it.

After that task was completed, early in the day, I was told to work aisle 39. I saw Tally in there before I went on my first break. That’s also when I knew where I was going to be sent to when I was done my first break. Tally also knew where I was going to be sent when I was done. Tally was trying to do it without complaining because she knew that I was going to be stuck there. It is the one aisle I always get stuck with and will always do. The majority of my team are way older than me and cannot physically perform the aisles of concrete and flooring and tiles. I do it without complaining. I’ll complain to Tally. She is the proper Virgo and closest to my level, not to say that I am higher or better just that we can understand each other very easily. Capricorns (me) and Virgos are very easy to compare to each other when it comes to work ethics and such. We are both earth signs. Taurus is the other earth sign but…

Anyway, my boss said that she would switch us out in aisle 39. I knew what that meant. She wasn’t going to do any such thing. That aisle is tiles and hell to work with. I can do a couple bay, shelves, and then I tap out. I usually have a week to get it done when the service list calls for it. It did not call for it all year. I ended up doing a month’s work of service in one day. I had help but whenever things got to heavy I had to step in. On my last break, my hands had tremors. I told my boss and she didn’t seem to care. She had no recourse. The only other young people on my team were off today. They’re in their early twenties. I’m 36. That’s the age gap. We have a new young woman on our team, Morgan, she’s 18. My boss assigned her and Tally to do something else. We have dignitaries coming to do a walk next week, that’s why things are hectic.

So now I’m fuming internally. Whenever I start to feel underappreciated and taken for granted my mind goes to Tally. She does all of the thankless work, everything gets dumped on her and I do whatever I can to make her feel appreciated and helped. I take whatever I can off of her plate. That train of thought added to the surface pressure. I snapped.

My Scorpio placements added to a Capricorn, regarding my birth chart, can make it make sense what I did next. I manipulated everything in the store to make my boss stressed beyond repair. She was dying inside when I left. Absolutely pressed and confused and dying… She did not deserve it.

Why do I do this? I left the store with my hands looking clean while my boss left crushed. This will ruin her weekend. I know it will because I designed it to. It’s her birthday weekend, maybe she will have too much fun to think about it. I hate that I do this. I’m half-conscious when I do it. I recognize when I am being manipulative like this but I just commit to it. However, I cannot hurt others without hurting myself. My boss is a wonderful person and a wonderful leader. She is flawed just like the rest of us. I even understand her decision. I’ve had to make those calls also.

Anyway, I am drunk now. I went straight for the booze when I got home. I just want to watch a movie that will make me cry. This weekend I will meditate and think about how to improve my communication skills. I don’t know why I see everything through the lens of the zodiac… I lie, I do know why. It all makes sense in my birth chart. Blimey. Whatever. I just want to get over this right now.