Our journey of in Journal

TTC has come to a happy end.
I’m excited, naturally. I feel giddy most of the time like bubbles rising in my stomach… Or is that nausea? 😅
Seriously though I am just ecstatic.
I’m literally sitting in my driveway watching the amazon driver sweet talk my rabbits. Lol. They are super cute. I just roasted one from the first batch for dinner, yesterday. It was AMAZING. Idk why people don’t eat rabbit. It’s so good.
Anywho, naturally I told my husband and then my best friend. But, then I came to the end of my list… It’s still a bit nostalgic to consider having my mom around. There are still active parts in me that represent her interests. But they are fewer all the time, as each one is rationally integrated. Still, the part of me that wishes I had agood mom feels sad and melancholic at the memory of seeing such excitement. The balancing pendulum of perspective also brings to mind her vicious scowl as she yelled at me, in front of the very baby she was so excited about. Nevertheless, there is a pain in absence.
We just returned from the jump park, and then the chiro. Man, my son is so gregarious. He made friends and played with at least a half dozen kids today. All older. He’s frankly and objectively hilarious I must say. They were a happy group, even the older kids of ~12? or so laughing and playing along. He just has a way of roping people in. I’ve figured out his tactic. First he hands them something- a toy or just anything he finds to pick up like the big foam cubes- and gives it to someone. Then he stands there and stares at them. Then he runs away. Lol. If they follow, then they’re captured in the play. Genius.
The chiro was nice as well. I haven’t been since last year. I kept thinking I should make an appointment and never did. Finally decided to just so it, yesterday. They got me in right away which is something I love. Everything is very straightforward at the chiropractor.
Also scheduled an interview appointment with the midwife. Her prices jumped A LOT since last time. DH and I are on the fence about whether we want to pay it. It’s all out of pocket, and insurance is explicitly excluded in our State. Uhg. But hospitals have only gotten worse, and I didn’t want anything to do with them then either. Did I ever mention that a nurse nearly started a fight with me about bringing my son into the building on DHs mother’s deathbed? I’d rather deal with a bouncer than some overweight smoker nurse karen. They’re just the worst. Probably that’s the point. Anywho, even the midwife managed birth center requires masks, here, and while maybe I could handle that, there’s absolutely zero chance I’m putting on on my kid.
So it seems, it is prenatal care with my homebirth MW or no prenatal care. I’m very healthy and have zero worries about this pregnancy. But… I have that part of me that yearns for genuine care and reflection regularly around my pregnancy. Maybe I could hire a doula, but that’s not exactly what I’m looking for, either.
Things to ponder.