Baffled in Still Listening to Spirit
- June 3, 2014, 3:41 a.m.
- |
- Public
I swear I am not going to write much but need to .... whatever.
Today I stayed an extra hour at Heath's request, and finally left as meeting did not take place. Not a big deal, used to this I think.
BUT, I am very discouraged, distraught still and ended up changing my clothes after work and going upstairs without hardly speaking to Hub. I just needed to cry, feel sorry for myself, and wonder what in the world is wrong with me!!!
It has to be me because me is all I can control, change, live with.
Pity pot thinking: I don't have a desk or even an area on the counter that is mine. I couldn't get near a computer of any kind to do the tour billing Heath wanted done. I just can't carry one more burden, help one more person, do one more thing beside what I am doing. The yard is out of control. Hub can't mow and I doubt I can either. Nor can I hire someone right now. I think it is time to stop struggling, bow down to the inevitable, and just end this whole fiasco now. Jumping off the end of the railroad dock into the cold, cold water seems the best solution.
Hillbilly Princess ⋅ June 03, 2014
MageB ⋅ June 03, 2014
Not a good solution at all. Please call the clinic and tell her how depressed you are. Even if you can't afford to do so, please take the day off and sit next to your light. You are a very special person. Hugs and love from here.
noko ⋅ June 03, 2014
Hang on. This will pass. It is in your body, is your body. They are rare now but I do have days like this and I am trying to think what I would want to hear. You matter! You do. You make a difference in my life and I know you do in many others. That is a fact, Jack! Grab that thought and hang on and ride this one out.
Everything Good Rebecca ⋅ June 03, 2014
I'm listening. I hope you are too. To your own spirit, who knows you. I'm sad you're so discouraged snd quite thankful the pity pot is not where you typically live. Change is coming, don't you feel it too?