Potentially moving. in Since OD is shutting down....

I’ve been wanting to move for the better part of 10 years. I have a friend that’s about 5 hours away in a city I’ve been wanting to live in for years and I’ve started to process to go. I’ve gotten the ball started on everything. I’ve even put in to get at least some help with a deposit and figuring out moving costs etc etc… We were talking on the Facebook today and I heard him say something about the pre-K program there is only until noon and I called to double check. It’s only Monday through Thursday 8am to noon so I’m already starting to re-think my decision to move there.

The program my daughter is in here is Monday through Friday from 7am-3pm. I’ve really grown accustomed to not only getting a break but being able to run errands, do dr appointments, clean, have time for myself, and just overall get stuff done because my daughter goes to school full days. The lady I talked to said that depending on when we were to physically be there, they may not have a spot for her and because it’s so close to the end of the school year. My friend doesn’t think this is a big deal as there isn’t much school left but there is. 3 months worth!

Call me selfish but I like being able to have a bit of a life and a touch of freedom. They do have a Summer program there so if anything, I’d rather wait to move until school’s out. I’d rather not just move my daughter in an out of schools or daycares any more than necessary. I know that she’s a social butterfly and does really well in social settings but when you add in moving to a new place as well and so many other changes, I am concerned that she would become super overwhelmed.

I guess all of it’s going to depend on finding suitable to housing. If I’m able then we will more than likely go and if not, I still want to move so I’ll probably just find something here if nothing else. I’m just concerned about not having a plan for my kid once we’re there and it’s not like my friend is going to help. He’s said that I’d have to drive there to get him and his boyfriend so that they can help drive but they aren’t trying to help load stuff and there’s some stuff that I physically can’t do by myself. Furniture is heavy and awkward and I also have a very narrow hallway to get stuff in and out.

The plan is to be physically out of my place by the 1st of April but it’s going to depend on a lot of different factors. I think I’m going to wait and see how difficult of a process it will be to find housing there before I decide anything. I’m going to see tomorrow about what’s available here as well because I know that I’d like to move, even if it’s just staying in the same city. I admit, I’m ready for a change and I also don’t want to be within walking distance of my kid’s Dad as he’s made plenty of threats of bodily harm and doing stuff to my car.

I do know that I want to start the preliminary of packing/organizing and putting stuff in the trash because I know there’s plenty of stuff that I don’t want to take with us wherever we go.

It just sucks that my friend wants me to move there but isn’t really worried about helping me pack and load stuff nor is he concerned about me having childcare. I know he thinks I should just worry about it once we move out there but I need to have a really good idea of what I’m doing with that and have a pretty solid plan. There’s 3 months left of school and I’d honestly rather plan to move in June when Summer break has started. I don’t want to give up the next 3 months of having care Monday through Friday all day because I have plenty to do while she’s at school.

So I had my Dr appointment today and I let him know that I have an ingrown toenail and he put me on antibiotics and said that when my blood sugars are over 200, my body isn’t really trying to fight infection so I’m now taking some insulin everyday. I just know that if I was more active and had a better diet, I wouldn’t have half the issues I do now. It’s just hard because the weather is a big factor in being outside and we live in a shitty area up a hill so it’s not like we can even plan to go for walks.

My friend has a friend there that has 4 teenagers and she adopted a 5 year old little girl. She can’t get the teenagers to attend school and the little one doesn’t go either. This chick hangs out with my friend everyday and all they do is sit around and get high. My friend never sees his kids and this chick doesn’t even try to get hers to go to school. He’s mentioned her watching my kid but she doesn’t even have a handle on her own! They see her high as shit every day and I don’t want to put my child around people like that. I have no problem with people smoking weed at all, I’ve done it when I was young but the fact that they do it inside really bugs me as I don’t want my kid to sit around breathing that in.

I don’t know, I think I would really look within myself if my daughter was a teenager and didn’t want to go to school. It irks me that this chick blames it on Covid instead of looking at the example she’s set for them. She doesn’t work and they see her high as a kite everyday. She has no excuse not to work. It’s crazy to me how people can survive without working having that many kids and just don’t feel like having a job.

My friend also doesn’t work and hasn’t in at least a year and a half. He has 2 roommates that each pay what’s the amount of rent but he’s gotten help with it for the past year and a half that he hasn’t worked and also has gotten thousands to cover his utilities so he’s set up to where not only does he not pay rent or utilities but they are paying rent to him and he’s able to pocket that money. I honestly doubt that he’s just going to keep getting funding for too much longer considering there’s only about 15,000 Covid cases in our state. I asked him yesterday what he plans to do about a job and he didn’t really give an answer.

Ugh, I’m just really stressed about everything. I worry about Summer as we had nothing going on last Summer and it definitely took its toll. I’d love to be out of here and not have to worry about being bored but I also worry about there being a falling out with the friends I have where I’m looking to move closer to as well. We had some issues the couple times we visited and I can’t just forget about all of it either.

I’m so glad that I have counseling next week because I just NEED to talk to someone new and get a really good idea on how to handle things and look at stuff differently. I am lonely and wish I had a social outlet. I don’t hear from my family for weeks, even months and I don’t have any friends here that I actually see or hang out with.