Establishing a Baseline. in Exerbabble III

Note to self: do “Sunday Assessments” again.

Another squat workout in the books. In reflecting on my progress so far, it’s a mixed feeling of just how far I’ve come, and also “that’s it?”

And you wonder why I still casually mention possible depression, despite being rather upbeat lately.

Logged my workout as C1W5LB, or Cycle I, Week 5, Lower B. Which is kind of true, but in terms of lifting without a break, it’s been about nine and a half weeks. Which is both impressive, but also not too long. This is just one step. To shake the rust off. To get the quick gainz back to just JUST be able to have some “starting” numbers. Numbers to say “this where I started” without some asterisk. Without saying “well, I had just taken a two month break…”

To say nothing about how inconsistent I’ve been over the years. While the major gap was 2016 - 2020, sometime after 2012, it became a bunch of start-stop. Not really having a baseline to base my numbers back on.

This IS that baseline I can reflect back upon, going forward. Something I can do in three weeks to compare myself to, if I choose to change styles.

Progression across Cycle I - 5 weeks (4 increments)

Squat: 3x8 @ 135 lbs - 3x5 @ 195 lbs
Deadlift 3x5 @ 235 lbs - 3x3 @ 275 lbs
Bench 4x6 @ 115 lbs - 4x6 @ 140 lbs
Row 4x8 @ 115 lbs - 4x9 @ 135 lbs
Press 4x6 @ 75 lbs - 4x6 @ 90
Chin 6, 5, 5, 5 - 6, 6, 5 : D

RM Progression: October (pre-relapse) - now

Squat: 1 @ 225 lbs - 1 @ 245 lbs
Deadlift: 1 @ 315 lbs - 1 @ 315 lbs
Bench: 1 @ 155 lbs - ?
Row: 1 @ 175 lbs - ?
Press: 1 @ 105 lbs - 1 @ 115 lbs
Chin: 2 @ 25, F @ 45 - 3 @ 25, 1 @ 45 lbs

On Wednesday and Thursday, I’ll go see what my 3RMs are. For the baseline. I squatted 235 lbs for a double again today, but I didn’t feel I had a third rep in me. I bet I do.

I keep telling myself “small increments, just small increments”, so that I have small, achieveable goals. Kind of to convince myself that that’s the way to go about it, despite me seeing small progress as… small. I play it forward. 5 lbs every 3 weeks, across 7 cycles, which is 21 weeks or roughly 5 months. That’s 6 increments. 6*5 is 30 lbs. It sounds like so little, yet it shouldn’t.

I’m lowballing myself, in part because I’m so near what I used to lift, and I never got much past this part. (Used to lift, mostly referring to 10 years ago.)

“Look at the big picture”, they say, ha ha. Sometimes it’s almost best to ignore the big picture entirely, as it can psyche you out.

Will I hold consistency? Will I still have such self-doubt even if I make it out the year?

Ha. I can always take solace in being able to say “see, I did everything right I’m still a skinnyfat weakling.” It’s an odd way to go about revenge, but I never said I’m a normie.

Though. I suppose it’s normal to be scared of failure.