Obsession in Journal 2022

Joseph is so fragile right now, it makes me angry at the people that did this.

In the past, I’ve written that I needed to tet help for these urges and thoughts. But, Joseph is so hurt by those people.

I just want to have him all to myself. A year ago I thought he needed other relationships and bonds. But now I see clearly this led to him balling up all that pain inside.

If he had me to focus on me, me to just think about, me to be comforted by and cherished only none of this would hair happened. Even though he’s older I can tell that he’s so young and innocent in the whole mental health regard.

And I can work with that, I have before haven’t I? I’ll make him all better and depend on me happily. He’ll be happier with someone like me caring for him.

And then he’ll realize he only needs me, not a foolproof plan but I felt so helpless when he was crying and in pain…then anger because he’s mine. And I have to help him like he helped me.