Couple things. in Since OD is shutting down....
- Jan. 22, 2022, 10:46 a.m.
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- Public
My Mom decided to finally go home after about 6 weeks of living with her little boyfriend. I told her the day she went home that my boundaries with my daughter are going to stay firm and I don’t want my Dad around her. Well, the other day they came over and he was supposed to leave while I was running to Walmart. I come home and he’s here, sitting outside. I’m immediately pissed. I’m glad he was outside but I was told he wouldn’t be here so already my boundaries don’t matter.
We go to their house for dinner last night and somehow, we always end up being there longer than the 30 minutes that I had decided on a long time ago. As soon as I go to the bathroom and shut the door, I hear my little brother say, “I wish they’d fucking leave” so I come out of the bathroom and ask if he has something to say to which he gets loud and scary, starts flipping me off, all in front of my daughter while my parents just sit there and don’t say a word. I quickly get my daughter’s coat on her and walk out the door.
I bought a new mini blind to which my Mom decides he’s going to put it up. Well, instead of reading instructions and doing it correctly, he decides to use screws that are too big and hang it above the intended spot. I’m beyond livid after finding the hardware this morning after he said it didn’t come with it to hang it correctly. I have since taken it back down because I can’t STAND how bad it looked hanging above the window frame. I told my Mom I would do it myself or have the maintinence man do it!
She told him that she had gotten her own checking account and apparently he was hurt by that so she let him have her PIN for her debit card. He managed to get some of his stuff out of the pawn shop but him and my little brother about got their phones shut off so she put them back on her fucking plan. Then, when they were here earlier, he said something about taking her debit card to get her smokes and she said she couldn’t afford it because she had to buy groceries even though I know he still has EBT! My Mom is just getting played.
I’m just not even going to bother saying anything anymore because now she’s been around them long enough again that she’s being brainwashed where she just gets pissed if I try to say anything. I brought up what happened last night and said how this is why my Mom comes to my house to watch my kid and my Dad said something about coming with her to babysit so if they try to both come tomorrow night, I’m going to go ahead and be an asshole and say no.
I don’t give a fuck that my Mom went home and everything’s hunky dory, he’s not going to push his way into my house and be around my kid so that he can keep a close eye on my Mom. I should have been blunt about this shit a long time ago because he likes to play stupid but the talk is coming. This is my house and my child so I will decide who comes around.
It’s really annoying that my Mom continues to let them run all over her. She won’t say anything though. She’ll just let it go on and on and on until she finally gets fed up and leaves again. But in the meantime, my Dad is taking every last dollar he can get. She’s choosing to be used and I’m steadily running out of sympathy. I just don’t think you should have to give up just about everything you have to be in a fucking relationship.
Then, she decides she’s in control because she made him get a haircut even though we know full well she fucking paid for it. He likes to make her feel that she’s in control but he’s just mooching off her! I’m still stuck on how he can afford to get shit out of the pawn shop but can’t pay for his own cell phone?! I also feel that he brought up getting her cigarettes in front of me hoping that I offer money. Uh no, I’m not going to run myself out of food and money because they make really poor financial choices. I helped them with 4 bags of groceries out of my pantry the other day.
The mooching is never going to stop and I’m only willing to do the bare minimum because I’ve been used enough and I have a child depending on me. I know they wouldn’t care if we sat around going without but I sure as fuck do! My Dad is really good at being super nice after they have a big fight/my Mom goes home but mooching is mooching even when he’s nicely manipulating! I just can’t fucking stand him or my little brother.
So....my little brother. I should probably give some back story on him. He was always ‘homeschooled’ as my Dad wanted a reason to never work. I’m also very convinced he had sexually abused him and was terrified of my little brother ever telling. My brother rarely ever got to leave the house. He sat around watching TV and eating candy all day long. He’s watched my Dad always be scary and loud. Like, that’s all he knows and that’s why he does it. Also, it’s been allowed. Part of the reason my Mom left is because my little brother was breaking shit in the house and was threatening to kill her so she had him committed for a couple of days. They told me that I guess he’s starting in on my Mom again as well.
My parents are completely to blame for him being like this. There’s no one else to blame. The kid had no other influence and is a complete fucking mess. Neither one will ever take any accountability for the way he’s turned out but I am sick of repeating to my Mom that I am uncomfortable around him and I’m terrified that he’s going to get violent with my daughter or myself.
I look at what my childhood was like and even his and that’s why I’m so big on children going to school. My daughter has gone to daycare since she was 3 months old and has been in school since she was 3. I firmly believe in kids having a life outside of their house and their parents. They need to have outside influence and learn to socialize with other people, be able to pick up on social cues and be able to develop friendships with other kids.
I’m also concerned about my Dad trying to be around my kid again so I still need to diligently be finding another sitter so that I don’t always have to ask my Mom because if he EVER did something to my child, I will have zero problem reporting it and him going to the big house. I’m sorry that my Mom doesn’t feel that she can stand up to him and have boundaries but my child is NOT GOING TO SUFFER FOR THAT! I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him and that’s why he’s never been permitted to be around my kid.
My family is just too fucked up and I’d like to move away and never have to deal with any of them ever again. There’s just too much narc shit and mental illness. They all need serious fucking help that they’ll never get because they don’t think they have anything wrong! It’s like my little brother going nutty last night, it’s hard to figure out who to be more pissed at. My parents for raising him wrong or the fact that he’s allowed to be completely in control! He was screaming, flipping me off saying how we needed to get the fuck out of HIS house?! Uh, no my Mom paid for it! They make sure she’s always fucking paid for EVERYTHING! They’ve done nothing but drain her for every last fucking penny they could get!
Ugh, more later.
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