Okay, So... in meh...

…I wrote him back after reading this latest letter. I almost had to because he is delusional about why he hadn’t heard from me.

Being a second letter, I pretty much knew he’d be trying to get me to do stuff for him. I was right. The first letter was a feeler to see where I was emotionally. He got the books then thought we were good. This letter was another brief wanna be apology then quickly jumped into what he wanted me to do for him. He said that his pride kept him from writing me and that’s why I hadn’t heard from him.

When I wrote, I kept it brief. Said, “my bad” about the books. Apparently they have to come from Amazon or wherever directly. I’m not doing that. Next, I told him that me not hearing from him, I thought he was honoring what I said; that I was done with him and we were over. I also told him I was not opening up a line of communication and it was over. I let him know that I pray for him and his well being and I hope he’s alright. Ended with a “God Bless.”

And I mean it. In his letter, he said he didn’t know why he was moved back to the other place. But if he’s talked to his attorney, he should know what the judge said. I even looked it up on case net. He said he was in the hole so he’s not talking to anyone. That’s not on me. I feel like every little thing I do or could do, would open me back up to the foolishness I’ve been set free from.

But, am I really set free?

When I say I’m traumatized by my memories with him…I remember something and then I start talking aloud about the situation, and get mad or sad to the point of tears at the memory that ends with me saying “N****, fuck you”. I then shake my head and yell out “No. No. I’m not thinking about this today.”

I don’t feel guilty about saving me, saving myself from him. I know I can’t just shut it down because that was a year of my life, but I can certainly try. I can’t let him rule me, my thoughts, my decisions.

And that’s what I’m sticking to…
Take care, Jokers.

Kindest regards,
Sister