Under The Weather in Current Events

My body is expressing a little illness today. I feel hungover but I didn’t have a drop of alcohol last night. What I did have was a brief panic attack yesterday and I suppose my body is trying to detox the stress hormones and whatever else. I remember the exact moment I felt my heart drop. I went into fight or flight, my stomach filled with acid to shut down digestion, my body started to sweat to make my skin acidic and not tasty, my body started to try and void my bladder and bowels to make me lighter on my feet. It’s like having battery acid fill your body all day every day when you do not manage stress, which I could improve at. My body likes to sweat it out and I usually go for a run but it’s winter here. I did go for a walk right after a shower with wet hair, which probably triggered this detox crisis. I’m not going to overthink it, I’m just going to let my body do what it wants. Suppressing symptoms makes things worse. It’s just a crippling headache, fatigue, and chills. I did leave work early because I was making Shelly uncomfortable. She heard that I wasn’t feeling 100%. Everybody is superstitious about germs so my anxiety joined the party and I was just unable to push through my shift. Not the end of the world. I just want to take a long shower but that might make it worse.

What triggered the panic attack was that Linda discovered something hidden in our online training at work. The covid vaccine policy. It was just information but it was a little too close for comfort. The cherry on top of the most intense years of my life would be that. All the tarot readings and astrology readings for Capricorn warned of the return of a person or situation of some sort. My existential dead is, of course, having the rug pulled from under me again. 2022-2024 are supposed to be my best manifesting years so I should be conscious about what I am thinking about and doing. Just in general.

When Bruce picked me up, her girlfriend’s perfume was triggering my allergies badly. I felt as though I just had a pack of cigarettes when I woke up. My headache started when I got back from our walk and I went to bed at 7pm. I think this is what I am detoxing. As well as the fumes from the masks they have us wear at work.

I was telling Bruce about what the tarot readings and such had to say about Capricorns because she is also a Capricorn. If the story doesn’t resonate don’t make it fit your story and the reverse can also be true. That’s the usual disclaimer and the reverse was true for Bruce. She had the best years of her life these past few years. Mine was the most intense.

I am listening to my body and resting today. I have a lot to consider and think about this weekend. I’ve been pushing so much off.

Adam is a national treasure at work and tomorrow is his last day. I’m going to miss him. He brought me some cookies that his girlfriend made vegan for me. He then told me that he and his girlfriend have changed their lifestyles because of something I said to him. I randomly explained to him how we are so far from nature that we consider eating correctly “dieting” and moving correctly “exercise.” This inspired them to be conscious about what they are putting into their bodies. They started researching various things and discovered what I had been saying about dairy for years now. It is the axis of evil and does not belong in our bodies. The damage you incur slowly is not worth it.

Anyways, I am thinking about just having that shower after all. I am the only person who likes being under the weather. It’s hard to be lazy guilt-free lol. Toni did leave me all the dishes to clean, as per usual. I have been doing all of the cooking for a couple of weeks now. Feels like I have two jobs and I’m getting salty about it again. Blah.

Last updated December 17, 2021