Doing okay. in Since OD is shutting down....

I’ve reconciled with my Mom and she was here over the weekend. I went to my parents house yesterday and talked to my Dad and tried to tell him that my Mom is still very angry that he never worked. His response? Well, she needs to just get over it. Typical narc bullshit. I just can’t believe people like this are in the world. He just doesn’t care what he’s done to anybody at all. My childhood was nothing but poverty because he didn’t work and made sure my Mom never had a fucking dollar to her name. My siblings and I went without food, clothes that were the right size and even shoes that needed to be replaced. We lived in absolute shacks too.

I’m definitely not a big fan of my Mom’s boyfriend either because he’s just as controlling and shitty as my Dad and makes my Mom feel like she has to justify spending time with her kids and grandkids. Again, my daughter didn’t even know who she was until she was 3 years old because of my Dad and now there’s another one that makes her feel like shit if she’s at my house. I’m just over it.

So I think I’m done trying to find a babysitter simply because I just can’t find it within myself to trust anyone with my kid and people are just too fucking greedy. It’s crazy how if you don’t have a friend/family member to help out with your offspring, you are destined to just be on welfare. Childcare is so fucking expensive, to the point where it’s not even worth your time or energy to work. I could find a job making at least $15/hr but if I have to pay $12-$15/hr for childcare, I’m working just to pay for a sitter.

My hair is still falling out. I had Covid back in August and for the past month or so, I’ve been losing my hair at a rapid rate. My hair used to be so thick and now, it’s thinned out massively and feels dirty and brittle all the time. Even though I take vitamins daily and I’ve even used rice water, it’s not getting any better. I think it’s time to call my dr and see if they could prescribe something or give me a referral to see a derm.

More later.