"THE UNPLEASANT" in "RESTLESS: POETICALLY-SPEAKING"

Let’s just face it:
There’s no such thing as unconditional love.
Either Billy Joel or Bruno Mars –
or perhaps some who do the cover versions,
somebody must be lying when they sing:
“Just the way you are.”

Okay, so I’m a cynic,
but the world has taught me
to be more of a realist.
No matter what kind,
you’ll always have that
even just some tiny bit of:

E.X.P.E.C.T.A.T.I.O.N.S
Ex-pec-ta-tions …

Seriously.
It has never been my imagination nor insecurity.
Sometimes it’s a beauty privilege.
Other times, it’s wealth.
Perhaps it can also be both
among many other reasons.

I’ve already burnt all the false memories.
A lot of fairy tales are full of toxic positivity.
If you’re kind, you’ll get noticed,
but some pretty ones are often greedy.
They steal the attention of someone you love too.
leaving you buried in the shadows
that you have to turn around and go.

So, excuse me
if I don’t feel enthusiastic
about love and romance.
In fact,
I’m still not on speaking terms with it.
I keep telling it that I don’t want anyone who won’t stay.
I don’t want monsters too,
because they only pretend to love me
before tearing my heart in slashes
before leaving me with pieces
of nothing but dark memories,
such poison to my brain.

I don’t know.
Maybe you’re right.
It’s more about luck,
whether you deserve it or not.
Maybe I still have to be ready
for love’s other mean tricks.
I guess I’ve already grown cold and numb
to what’s always been unpleasant …

R.