Plan B- TMI in 2014

We wound up going to back to city this weekend. Chris pissed me off Friday morning, and the kids did to, so I figured I deserved a break. I had made plans to get there and back, taking no husband, and no kids with me.

Chris got off work at noon and said he was bringing the kids to the city since it was so super nice out. I was like wait what? Frig. Both of us had the same idea, except he was bringing the kids and I was basically running for my life haha.

We discussed it and we decided to all go together. Even though I wanted a break from everyone and everything, I decided to do another family weekend. We went after he got off work at 5pm. Well, we actually didn't even leave town until 6:30. We got there to a hotel where our friend was staying at with his girls but they wouldn't take dogs so we went to the normal hotel we stay at, and told them to come up and visit us and swim in the pool.

I didn't swim in the pool though, I met my friend and we played some games on xbox until 1 am when I went back to the hotel room.

Kids were asleep... and well, Chris and I wound up having sex. BUT-thats not the worst part.
TMI about to happen.

I made him wear a condom, something we never ever do. I just don't want to wind up knocked up by him, or knocked up at all mind you. Condom it was. Anyway, we are going at it and then he made a mention that it "felt good" and it was like he wasn't even wearing one and blah blah. Long story short, he did his thing inside me, because of the condom, and when he was done, he pulled out, and looked down, then looked at me and said "uhmmm, we have a problem here"...

THE FUCKING CONDOM BROKE. Like the whole end of it. Every little drop, was inside me. I instantly started to cry. I'm talking like shaking, scared, freaking out crying. Chris was obviously not as upset at I was, but he was helping console me. At first I asked him if he did that on purpose and he said of course not and to not even think that for a second. I quickly grabbed my phone, checked my period app to see when I would be ovulating. THAT DAY. Of course. Fuck.

Seriously guys, I was freaking the fuck out. I decided to take the morning after pill. Problem was, it was Friday and most "health unit" type things, aren't open until Monday morning. I did my research and from what I read, it works best within 24 hours of the accident. But still ok within 72 hours. Problem was, I knew I was ovulating so I wanted to find it asap. The pill in question is called "Plan B" if anyone has ever heard of it before.

I looked it up online for a solid 2 hours that night, and then the next morning. I wanted to sleep on it to make sure this was something I wanted to do. While Chris took the kids swimming that morning I found out all I needed to know. From what I read online, all this pill(s) does is stop me from ovulating. If it doesn't do that, it will stop the sperm and the egg from uniting. If that doesn't work, it MAY stop the fertilized egg from attaching to my uterine wall. So no, I'm not killing or aborting a baby. Not that I'm against that if you want to do it, go the frig ahead. And if I want to do that, its also my choice. (I wouldn't)

I was researching and researching, and what I found out was, its available at the pharmacy over the counter! Score. As soon as Chris got back from swimming with the kids, we went to a Rexall, and I found it ($45 OUCH!) and bought it with a bottle of water. I read all the instructions and all the warnings and how it works again in the pamphlet that it came with, and then downed the two pills.

I made sure it was ok with Chris too of course. I mean I don't want any more kids with him, right now, if at all, ever, so I was damn serious about not ovulating. He was sad, because he does want more kids, but he doesn't want them with someone who doesn't want them, you know? Essentially its my body, and I will do what I want anyway, but yes, its his potential child too, and he might resent me for this. Who knows, he might anyway. Too bad, we are an inch from over as it is. (I really need to not be sleeping with him argh)

If it was up to him, I'm sure he would have just had me leave it alone, and see what happens. Who knows, I might still be knocked up. But at this point in my life I've really changed because I've had to. I can do it, and I know I can do it alone. I'm not even scared, and I'm already tied to this man for the rest of our children's lives so one more kid with him wouldn't really make that much of a difference. I just don't want it. Thats all. And if these pills didn't catch it on time, and I'm pregnant, then it was meant to be I guess.

Chris was super sweet with everything though, telling me it would be ok, holding me etc. Why can't he be like that all the time? He told me and promised me that if I was pregnant, that I wouldn't be left alone like I was when I was pregnant with Evelyn. Not sure if I ever covered that in this diary but I was bleeding and his fear of me losing the baby kept him away from me and scared. He was so scared that he didn't realize how scared I was, and I feel like that was the turning point in our relationship bc I hold some resentment for him.

Moving on.

Later that day, we went to a reptile petting zoo, then we went to my parents friends house where they were, about an hour away from the city where we decided to stay for the night and have a bonfire and some fun. I felt a bit nauseous but mostly just didn't want to be away from Chris. Does that make any sense? Like is it some weird hormone or something? Like I just wanted him by my side for whatever reason. I was all spaced out and like...tired? I'm not sure what was going on. We had fun though, with the kids. We slept in my parents friends trailer and my parents had the girls so it was nice.

The next day was fun as well (yesterday) and we got home, put the kids to bed and everything is normal.

Kristen <3

PS: I don't want to hear any crap about the Plan B pills that I took, if you don't agree with it, don't note me, just go away. Its not "the abortion pill" and I've educated myself on this matter. If you have taken it, I'd like to hear your story though! Hopefully "success" stories?? lol

Kristen <3