cause I just forgot in Second 1st

I made a choice and stayed home all weekend. After Kevin texting that I can’t be fired for waiting on approval for the short term disability I decided that I wasn’t going to try to go in for my regular weekend shift as that would look bad for approval.... and be a risk being trained again and not being able to do it.

It has been a quiet weekend. I spent most of Friday in panic mode thinking that Symetra would call and say I was denied. It was only after I was sure everyone had gone home that I was able to relax a bit. My heads actually been pretty quiet most of the weekend .... except that about 3pm yesterday it was hurting.... and this morning.... dizziness has been mild but I’m super glad I stayed home because if it’s mild here.... would have been so much worse at work.

I’m still anxious to hear about the approval .... not looking forward to having to explain myself at work Friday if I have to face my co-workers. “Are you okay?”.... I can’t deal with it right now. I want to scream “No, I’m not okay. I’ve not been okay since some time in 2017. Get with the program.”

Today, I have an appointment. I can’t remember the time exactly..... So they called Thursday from the place doing my dental appliance for the mild sleep apnea to make an appointment to pick it up and get instruction. Then I put it into mu phone .... and I set a reminder for some time before.... like an hour and something.... and I think I set the end time for the time I need to be there?.... if so the appointment is at 11. I’ll call in a couple hours to confirm.

Then, I have 2 packages to take to post.... and I think we will get groceries....

I’d pushed myself a bit yesterday and did a bunch of cleaning. I think pushing myself and the vinegar smell when cleaning the microwave + coffee maker was the starting point of the bad migraine yesterday afternoon. This morning it’s rain, a nice solid front till apparently about noon.... yay!.... hopefully it let’s up before groceries at least.... I don’t need it compounded further with light sensitivity and too many people.... but I have limited med options because of yesterdays issue. So, we will see how that goes.

Got what I think was the last paperwork for the re-fi. I was a tad disappointed because the 2.5% is finalized at 3.4% and the $15,000 was $12,000 .... but in the end the house not is $140 cheaper and that was the honest goal..... if we can manage I’d like to keep paying what we have been.... but if I’m not working and I can’t get short term.... we will have to see… we’ve done what we could for now.

So, we still plan on paying off the pipes and A/C but there will be like $3,000 or so left. I’m just not sure a shed is the way to go now.... it will come up in conversation with Rocky today. I think we’d settled on an Amish built shed that would fit our needs for $7,250. They send a payment book which would be slightly entertaining (and annoying as I’d have to hunt down some checks or get a money order every month). Either way if we go with that we intend to tackle it hard when we get back from the trip to MI in June for Destiny’s wedding. The more we can put on the shed the cheaper it would be monthly..... We’d actually stopped by a place with a much larger option we’d considered but no matter what you had to put down the payments would be the same.... didn’t like that for sure. shrugs I think the fact that the one we will probably go with is Amish built … that’s probably it’s biggest selling point.... that at the floors not plywood....

I hate that I’ve spent the money before we even have it..... I hate that as soon as we get things paid off we are going to get another loan.... I hate that even though I love this house and I’m so happy we have it that I feel like we are always going to be in debt to fix it up for when we retire.... preparing for me not working.... even after we get a shed and a brand new lawn mower.... then it’s getting the foundation checked out and replacing windows/doors, rebuild the back deck, level the yard.... I know the list will go on and on.... it always will.... like housework.... sigh

Well, I’m going to hang out in a dark living room till Rocky gets up. Hopefully my head will clear before we have to get moving. I’ve got another good hour and 15 before I need to call and confirm appointment..... or call to check on approval for Short term.