VALUE in A PATH LESS TRAVELED

To be honest i am not sure what it is I am meant to write
But all I know is that I cant bare to live another day like this
If I am honest if I got hit by a truck while trying to cross the road my last thought would be at least I haven’t got to deal with another day at least the pain will stop
And that’s an awful things to think that you have no value on your own life because of the way you feel

I have no idea while I feel like this there isn’t one thing that I can pin point and say that’s the cause
I couldn’t tell you if its my job
I couldn’t tell you if its the menopause
I couldn’t tell you if its friends or family
I couldn’t tell you if its the state of my house that I am living in

All i know its the same events day in day out
The same people, the same jobs, the same problems, the same conversations
Nothing ever changes
I feel that my life has no value or meaning and the only reason why I am here is
To pick up after people
To be moaned at when someone’s day doesn’t go according to plan
To be made a scape goat for someone else’s mistakes
To be made to feel useless unworthy stupid
To be picked up and dropped when people want something or have nothing better to do

And the worse thing is I allow people to do this to me because I don’t have a value on my life
I don’t think my life is worth living so why should people value me as a person
As we are often told at work you are only a number you are replaceable

Its not like i want to be rich or famous or centre of attention far from it all i want is a quiet life where nobody bothers me and I don’t have to deal with people but that’s not going to happen anytime soon as I still have to leave the house to go to work pay bills and do the shopping

I’m not sure at the moment what it is I want from life but all I know is i don’t want what I’ve got because its not making me happy