Wtf life in Phoenix Rises Again

Just found out both my parents have covid. And a friend from back home. We are supposed to be going to have thanksgiving there. And my birthday. And to see Jay for the last time. Now my options are… get a hotel for a week and take my kid with me to a rock show? Hes old enough and itd be his first one. But the chances of being able to talk to Jay honestly just keep getting lower. And what if my son cant handle the noise and wants to leave, or if he gets tired and falls asleep? And the cost of a hotel…

I’m begging friends to let us stay for the week but so far nobody in the state has responded. Suddenly I’m feeling very alone again. Why does life have to be like this?

My other option is exposing my unvaccinated child to covid. And myself, and having to skip the show anyway so I dont expose everyone. And having to give up seeing anyone while I’m there, doing anything for my birthday and let’s not forget that my son and I will also have to quarantine and I’ll lose my job contract and he’ll be out of school longer. If it was just quarantine it might not be too bad to have time with him but what if we actually get sick? What if I lose him? What if my parents die to this?

The stress just keeps coming. And I could handle it all, if only I knew I’d be able to see Jay again another time. If this wasnt the LAST show I could skip the trip, save the money and spend the next week bonding with my son. Why cant I let this go? What could possibly happen that’s so awesome at that show that I cant miss it? It’s not like he will suddenly want to be friends again after all these years? Feels like I’m just getting a fix, one last time, before hes gone forever anyway.

I dont know what to do -.-