NJM 15 holiday fears in Second 1st

What holiday holds your fondest memory?
I don’t remember much being honest. It’s always been important to my mom to share the holidays. So large family dinner with cousins was a must. Fondest? We used to spend New Years with a family friend 4 hours drive away. They had 4 children. Beth, their oldest, was like 2 years older than my brother, and somehow liked me. One year her boyfriend had come over and brought his brother Bradley who was the same age as me. We bonded fairly quickly even talked about dating lol which was really silly at the time. .... neither of us driving.... I think I was 12-13 maybe. I remember it being just absolutely amazing that this boy wanted to kiss me at midnight and only mildly heartbreaking that I would likely never see him again.... yes mildly as at that age I had no expectations of it being anything more that just those 2 days for the holiday. Beth went on to date Brian for another 5 years.... they even moved to TN together.... and I hung out with them several times here but I’d never seen Bradley again.

Also, Christmas memories changed once I realized we were poor. One year we’d gotten gifts from an elf. Santa had been so busy that one of his elf’s had signed the cards before packing that magic bag he has. Thought it had been such a magical suggestion at the time, that’s how poor we’d been. That my family had asked for help and gotten it from a charity who didn’t think to write that the presents had been from Santa. Mom covered it good and it was only years later till I realized what had happened. Also, one year I recall.... I think it was the last year my parents were able to fake that we didn’t know.... sister was 12.... I’d gotten a CD tower (much needed and loved) and a CD cleaning system. I had a Stereo with a 3 CD disc changer that I absolutely loved. I spent the lions share of that day cleaning my collection.

What are/is your biggest phobia(s)?
I’d sort of answered this on the 9th with the other NOJOMO list.... but I’ve probably got many fears.... I mean who doesn’t fear getting cancer.... or being in a house fire. I have an odd fear of whole dead fish and a plausible fear of forgetting my life. It’s why I journal such mundane things as do. I have no idea where the fish thing comes from but if they move on their own I feel better. lol Also, if they are profoundly dead (and not whole) like head cut off I’m okay and the less I can imagine them whole the better.
One time I was working at Henry Horton State Park Restaurant and was responsible for cutting up some catfish before being breaded and fried for a buffet. I swore I saw scales and approximately the distance of a whole fish away in the tub I swore I saw scales again. Had a minor panic attack and called my niece (ex husband, his sister, and his niece all worked there) over to check it out and make sure there wasn’t a whole fish in there before I could continue. LOL Ex husbands adopted brother Robert, who I’d gone to high school with, had once chased me around with a dead fish in a small net for 10 mins till I managed to lock myself in a bathroom for 30. .... We had a large tank at one point … it was a battle with fear every morning.... so silly and irrational.... like what do I expect to happen? it’s really the dumbest fear I’ve ever heard of.... but I have that fear.... a fear that it’s suddenly going to come to life like a zombie and bite me smh even I think that’s stupid and I’m the one with the fear..... it’s laughable really.