the world outside my window in Second 1st

I stayed home from work yesterday. Honestly, it’s getting a bit scary. It seemed worse than usual yesterday. Dizziness and headache had started about 4 pm Saturday. With only 4 hours remaining in my day I just grinned and bared it. Figured the sleep would take care of it. Went to bed as quickly as I could. Woke up at 2.... again… had been up at 2am all weekend. I got dressed and attempted a nap in my chair. When I got back up at 4 it was like the time after therapy..... before returning to work.... where I was 100% sure I shouldn’t go back but everyone said I could. I spent most of the day just being still.

Today is going to be mostly phone calls. Friday I’d come home to find out trash can missing. They pick up Friday mornings so I’m sure the company took it. However, I have no idea why. It wasn’t very long ago that I’d made a big mistake .... and then the discovery that I hadn’t paid for trash pick up in 6 months. I’ve paid all that off and I’ve paid the last 3 months online. Rocky will call today but honestly if they took it I’m happy for it. The bills are confusing and I was seriously upset with myself when they didn’t hold me accountable for the mistake I’d made.

I hadn’t heard anything from the neurologists office.... granted I’d sent the message about FMLA Friday morning. On the patient portal it says it was viewed by a staff member Friday 8:22am. It also says that someone should respond within 48 hours. I’ll give it till noon.... honestly I feel like I should have gotten a message back Friday in the very least saying they would look into it and get back with me Monday. So now I’m highly considering making an appointment with the office that diagnosed me with Meniere’s to begin with. That being a possibility I’m going to work on updating a list of what’s and when’s so I’ll have a nice speech for the new doc. It won’t be the old one as she has quit since then :(. Will probably have an entry later today or tomorrow with the Meniere’s so far information.

OT will be forced this week. Volunteers covered everything but one slot on Wednesday and being as I never volunteer I have the least amount of OT worked, I will be forced. It’s honestly causes a bit of puzzlement for me because I know I am unreliable now and most weeks I can barely work my regular shift.... I wonder who doesn’t think I’ll call out Wednesday.

That being said got a reminder text yesterday that I have an appointment with our regular doctor for our health check in stuff on Wednesday. So I’ve got to call today to see if I can reschedule that. What if I can’t? What if he’s so booked up till the end of the year.... I tried to reschedule online and it said he didn’t have an opening till Feb. 3rd. I’m sure that’s wrong and I’ll call today. ......

Also, we get these mailers all the time about lowering our house payment. We talk occasionally about if we can remove the mortgage insurance and whatever. The last time we’d talked about it we got all the way to an appointment in office with someone that I had to cancel because I had to work OT. Then we just never got around to doing it. So I want Rocky to call one of these numbers on these mailers because $530 a month beats 980 and 2.5% interest beat 3.9..... and no payment till Feb.? …possible money out of equity… sounds like A/C gets paid a hell of a lot faster.... and then the other things get done before June.

Where are we at on that? I just (Saturday) dropped $400 on the 4011 remaining..... So, roughly $3600 left. I expect there to be more on it this month. The only thing left for this month is the house and we’ve got 2 paychecks (technically 4) before then. .... After that.... I’ve got $550 left (of $1000) on a medical bill and I’ve put $900 back (of $2000) in the e-fund. Honestly think we are coming along nicely.... in spite of my inconsistently working.

When I told Rocky I wasn’t going in yesterday he said “I have to go in” then preceded to explain that his supervisor had pulled him aside and told him “Don’t tell anyone but I’ll be sending in an evaluation on you. I’d like to see you moved up to tier 3 before Christmas.” This means 16 something instead of 14 something. Great news being as I would swear he just got in his first 90 days (with the 3 weeks we were out from COVID). Pretty sure 16 isn’t ready for full bill coverage but it is nice to hear and I’m glad he enjoys the job.

Destiny just called (yes, at 5:30am because she knows I’m up) just general talk about wedding stuff. Also, they have a house guest who will be renting out the basement for the next 6 months. While there he plans on making 2 bedrooms and a bathroom and paying $300 a month in rent. Also, she talked with family about the catering situation and they volunteered to do set up/take down saving $400 there. I think she’s starting to calm down about the situation. It’s really going to be okay, one step at the time. I talked to her about the FMLA situation and reminded her not to worry about it that my flight was already paid for and worst case I’d just camp on her floor, get a job while there to pay for the trip back lol or get to stay longer because I don’t have a job to come back to.

Still need to make calls about the Adhear.... will probably get groceries today.... The suns coming up painting the world in those muted yellows. I wish I were on the porch with coffee.... but I have no creamer and yesterday was too rough to think of coffee now. This morning I’m fairly clear. .... I would work today.... Let’s hope that keeps up for Wednesday.