UnMedicated in Thirty-Six

I’ve decided stop taking all of my medication. I’m out of half of it. It’s November 29th. My “limited” insurance coverage starts on December 1. But I don’t even know if my coverage allows me to see a Dr. I don’t qualify for medicaid in new mexico because I am disabled and Jane Medicare. I had a dual plan in AZ. Do I need to move back to AZ JUST TO HAVE MEDICAL COVERAGE!?!?

I believe now I have to get a regular plan from the marketplace AND a Medicare advantage plan. Otherwise my over $100 Medicare premium comes out of my already minuscule SSDI check.

Fucking hell.

I am giving up my meds because even with what I do have on hand, I shouldn’t feel this bad. So why bother choking down pills that aren’t working.

This house is miserably cold. Like 40-50° inside when it’s 40-50° outside. We have no insulation in the walls. None, zero, zilch. There’s no ceiling in most of the house. There’s FOUR outlets in the entire front of the house.

Four. ONE in the living room, ONE in the front bedroom, two in the kitchen.

It is physically draining for me to exist inside this house. It physically hurts to exist inside this house. We still have our mattress on the floor because we can’t afford a new bed frame until probably March.

The box spring is pushed up against the valve to the heater we removed and it puts our a puff of gas every time we move in bed. So we’re breathing natural gas all night.

I’ll take pics and post them so people can say oh you still have a roof over your head!! Stop complaining! You’re trying to scam people out of money again! Get a job! You’re lazy! Go die already!

Because it will happen.

I just want a fucking stable living situation. I went from one shitty living situation to another and NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTANDS THAT!