NoJoMo Day 6 in And here we go.

How have the past 2 dark years of the pandemic era changed you?

I used to have a loud, chaotic life. At work and at home.
I was used to the noise, in fact lack of noise gave me a ringing in my ear and I would always play loud music, ambient sounds on youtube, or even some sitcom in the background, whatever just to fill in the silence.
I did not do well being idle, being silent or having silence around me. Everything had to have a hustle and bustle. No quiet moments.

Then corona hit.
BOOM.

Because of some exceedingly moronic people in my area, who repeatedly got exposed, my entire area was marked for extended lockdowns with law enforcement posted at each road to make sure everyone stays inside for sure.
This meant, my loud vibrant area with hundreds of shops, restaurants and life went dead quiet.
A desolate windswept road. Even dogs wouldn’t bark at night no more.
Because of my paranoia, the first weeks went by me trying to create a safe environment at home, buying supplies and creating a string of safety measures to make sure me and everyone around me stays safe.

There were so many funerals in the area during the lockdowns.

This is from March 2020 to somewhere around August 2020. Then again from early September 2020 to all the way Feb 2021.

I learned to deal with silence, I learned to be calmer and more collected, I learned to be a lot calmer than I was before.

I learned to live and let live on a completely different level. I learned to completely forgive and let the emotional baggage go.

Above all, I learned just how much my mental health had deteriorated over the years and it took the endless lockdowns for me to confront my mental anguish.

A new perspective, that I need to live life with my foot on the brake sometime as well. Can’t be just accelerating through everything, hoping someday things will be alright.
Having to go back to work, be around lots of people everyday, the chatter, the loudness of it.
Feels like my personal space has grown monumentally during the year long lockdown and work from home.

I’m struggling with having to deal with people face to face regularly.
I would gladly take a pay cut if it means I get to work from home full time.

The pandemic was the unexpected vacation I always needed, the unwanted intrusion and confrontation with my mental fatigue I desperately needed.

Last updated November 07, 2021