Upside in Current Events

I did not have a good work week. I have a three-day weekend luckily. I need to decompress. We had a major seasonal reset to get Christmas products going and Mike was an absolute asshole the entire time. He was walking around complaining about how stupid we all are, how unintelligent we all are and he would just not stop. My boss said she would deal with it but she deals with nothing. She is just as bad. Mike and Mel are both Aires, they want to micromanage to prevent “chaos.” Yet they just complain and do nothing to make things better. Someone literally grabbed my shoulders to shove me out of their way. I didn’t turn around to see who it was I just walked away because I was about to start swinging. This is not an appropriate culture to have at work.

I don’t know why I decided to start my three days off in a bad mood. I have to do a lot of cleaning today and then I have to get a massive load of groceries and essentials. Toni will commit to doing the bare minimum and I just feel like I have two jobs. I committed to a nap when I got home from work and when I woke up Toni asked me what I was making for supper. Like, I’m her parent? I’ll get over it. I also have to take my car in again because I couldn’t afford all of the repairs last time. Now it also has a god-awful screech when I use my brakes. I will once again have no personal spending money. Whatever, first-world problems. I get to is what I should be saying to correct my perspective. I get to buy groceries and essentials, I get to cook and clean my home, I get to repair my car. I did not have this last year.

In my esoteric studies, there are different universes with different laws and the law of Karma is what rules ours. What I put out there I get back times three. That’s the mantra I adopted randomly for myself at least. I do put a lot of negativity out there. I get a lot of toxicity in return. I need strength to come my way so I will have to add that to the world, something like that. I need to reflect on this some more.

I harp on Toni a lot. Most people in my situation would and I could easily have a conversation with her about it all. Instead, here I am complaining and doing nothing to make it better. While simultaneously judging those who do the same. I’m such people.

Toni went two weeks without drinking. I feel like I have my friend back. We actually visit in the evenings now. We do take turns cooking and then we watch something on Netflix while we eat. There is no walking on eggshells, no mood swings and all of that other garbage that went along with it. I sleep better and my moods are better she said to me the other day. I was like yeah, no shit! She did buy a box of wine last night but barely touched it. I think this might be a good sign that she is not attached to alcohol the way she used to be. However, she did up her weed but that’s whatever. It’s still gross to me that she needs to get high first thing in the morning and yes, I do judge.

She is open-minded about my vegan lifestyle, even though she doesn’t agree with it but she does keep my dietary restrictions in mind whenever she cooks or picks up random things like protein powder. She buys her own eggs and half and half cream so I don’t have to pay for it. She learns, on her own, how to make vegan dishes for us. This was from the get-go. I’m trying to look at the positive side of things.

Anyway, I am going to get ready for my day now. I think my biggest issue is that I don’t get to be alone here. Just Sundays. It is not easy to adapt. I don’t need someone around me 24/7.
Blah blah blah - Greta Thunberg