Restless in Current Events

The last few nights I have not been sleeping well. I have been having some pretty intense dreams. The one I had last night included a severe injury that felt real. I can still feel it throbbing. The other night I kept dreaming that I was fighting with everybody. I woke up feeling awful about it. The only thing that has changed is that I have had a glass of wine the last few evenings.

My boss is not in this week. This leaves us with the patriarchy… I don’t agree to believe in the patriarchy but the situation fits the description and I find it hilarious. That it fits, not the situation. I’m just coping, I suppose. Last week was just awful. We are in the middle of a reset for Christmas and Mike was putting everybody down while we were all working together, which is rare. He’s walking around complaining about how unintelligent we all are. How stupid we all are. He’s an Aries and his toxic trait is trying to micromanage to prevent chaos. Chaos being anything that doesn’t go his way. He wasn’t even charge of the projects.

This week, with our boss gone, he demanded to get his way and finish the reset alone for the week. The rest of my team, well a lot of them, are upset because they look forward to setting up the Christmas displays. Fireplaces, Christmas trees and fun things like that. At the end of it they take a group photo but that’s not happening this year because we are not intelligent enough to do it. According to Mike.

He was harassing me the most last week. Everybody knows this is my first time with this big project. He’s hazing me, Rob is gassing him up and he’s walking around bragging about how upset he is making me. This behaviour continues. He interrupted a conversation I was having to haze me some more. “Come on Tom, everybody says your so smart you should be able to do this.” Or “I hear you already know everything so blah blah blah.” Apparently, conversations about me are happening behind my back and they don’t sound like they’re trash talk. Mike sounds insecure about it.

Last week, someone physically shoved me out of their way. I was already feeling sensitive about the toxic situation so it was hard to not let it be to me. I should do something about it but I have no confidence in the management their. The HR can’t even keep her hands off of the new ASM. It’s so uncomfortable. They all enable and support this kind of toxic behaviour.

I don’t want to hate my job, it’s just a gig. It’s noting special. It’s better than my situation last year of not being an “essential worker.” My hours appear to be going down to what they are supposed to be. It’s making me nervous for no reason. I can be more diligent about looking for a second gig. It’s just annoying to do on my computer. My computer continues to be trouble. My phone isn’t sufficient either. Toni offered up her laptop so I will take her up on that.

Toni has not been drinking much. Next to nothing. I still feel like I have my friend back. We actually visit each other in the evenings. We take turns cooking and cleaning and watch movies and shows together. It’s been nice.

My anxiety has been high anyway. I don’t understand. Everything is alright, world war 3 aside. I suppose the changes of pace at work could trigger it. The cut in hours also. I will be fine.

My work is hosting a buffet in a couple of weeks. People can go get their flu shots on site. It’s 2021 and we are still cannibalizing babies for healthcare. Ingest or inject, a baby was brutally murdered so that adults can protect themselves from viral possession which is not a real thing. I’m a medical heretic, I know germ theory is a hoax and business model that creates disease. The defence I get from those degenerates is “those aren’t real babies! They were aborted.” So a nine month old fetus is just a clump of cells that you don’t have to hear scream and cry in pain when they are torn apart for big pharma, the medical religion we are being herded into via this vaccine inquisition. I can’t stomach what humanity has become. I want to blue pill sometimes.

I’ve been interacting with others on social media again. Just debating Christian conservatives, when you push the right buttons these people turn into leftists. It’s hilarious but I only bother so that others can read my message. Which works out, people ask for more information and I send them to the right places. The demented Christians commit to the radical belief that the world has evil in it because people like me won’t accept cultural genocide and accept their subverted, misguided, kindergarten view of the Bible.

Anyway, just airing out. Hate typing from my phone. I a few hundred comments on here I still need to get around to reading. Oops.