FOUR MONTHS ON DECEMBER in ANXIETY AND ME

SUNDAY 14TH DECEMBER 2014

It is with great sadness that I have to say my mother in law passed away
She passed on 1st December 2014 at 5.20am
As you know she had Alzheimer’s She has been in a home for three years. Fell and broke her hip had to go to hospital and gave up soon after that
She was with her family and the staf at the home when she passed

IN MEMORY OF MY MOTHER IN LAW

4TH AUGUST 1941----- 1ST DECEMBER 2014

The funeral was on the 8th December It was a small affair at the crematorium just a small group of family and friends Grumpy old man was in bits so that started me off and the kids where in bits
We had a small gathering afterwards for after noon tea at the cousins house 
She had a good send off and that’s all that matters

After the sadness of the last week I thought it better get my shit together and sort Christmas out
So with the help of my daughter we managed to get all the presents in two days and we did the Christmas food the following day in one go
We also went to the German Christmas market in Birmingham with my sister who is having a rough time at the moment trying to deal with the same this as me
We went early as I didn’t want to deal with the grounds as I know both me and my sister would get stressed and my sister has no balance because of the medication she is on and we didn’t want her falling over
We had a nice morning We weren’t stressed going on the train or walking around the market We got the bus back as we didn’t fancy trying to fight our way through the crowds in the train station
I’m still not feeling Christmas’s my heart is just not into

I have days were I feel on top of the world and get stuff done and days when I’m feeling really low and just don’t want to do anything and sometimes all I want to do is run away
I’m still taking my tablets and I seem to alright on them well there better than the first lot I was taking
I still feel panicky like something bad is going to happen or I will go out somewhere either on my own or with Somone and I feel like I might get lost or stuck somewhere and I want be able to get home
I haven’t a clue why I get these feeling because I’ve never got really lost and I’ve never been stuck anywhere and not been able to get home
I think its my mind playing tricks on me
I just wish my brain would hurry up and sort its self out I hate feeling like this