TWO MONTHS ON IN OCTOBER in ANXIETY AND ME

SATURDAY 13TH DECEMBER 2014

So a month on and I’m still off sick
I’m still taking the tablets and I’m still seeing the doctor although its a different one and to be honest he is not as good as the first doctor I saw ( he was retiring at the end of the month so was cutting his patients down) this one listened to me made some suggestions but to be honest he seemed a little disinterested I felt as though he wasn’t really listening to me

He asked me how I felt, asked if I wanted to go back to work which I really didn’t want to, asked me how I was getting on with my tablets I was on sertraline.
I explained to him that after a month of taking them I was still feeling sick, still off my food, still having banging headaches and still getting no sleep
I understood that you have to give then time to get into your system and settle down but I was feeling like this every day for the past month
I didn’t feel like myself like I was there but not and when I did manage to get to sleep I had vivid dreams

He would have liked me to stay on them but if the truth be known I don’t think I could have put up with another month of feeling like that
I would have put up with my anxiety, stress and palpitation’s rather than feel they way I did on the sertraline
So he said he would give me a months supply of fluxotine to see if I felt any better on them

So off I went with a new prescription and a sick note for three weeks

I tried to carry on as normally as I could but some days I didn’t even get dressed just stayed in my pj’s living in a untidy house with a sink full of washing up to do piles of dirty washing and ironing waiting to be done a garden full of dog muck waiting to be picked up living off chips and crap food and the old man for company
(He is in the same boat as me but worse he has struggled to cope with the loss of his dad to cancer 7 years ago. His mother was in a home with Alzheimer’s and he struggled to cope with that to. He wasn’t working and getting nothing from the DWP so it was me who kept us as a family and the house so you see why I was having trouble)

Towards the middle of the month my friend from work messaged me on face book to say that the company we worked for had lost the contract and we were being taken over by another company who were touping us over
She had said that I would have to come into work in the next Cpl days and fill in the paper work with the new area manager
Great I thought that’s all I need another trip into work but I couldn’t get out of it so I had to go
The day I went to sort my forms out I felt so ill my manage would only talk to me if she had to I could tell she didn’t like me (but there again it could have been my head playing games with me)
I sat with my new area manager for what seemed like ages and filled in forms
And to be fair he was a nice guy very understanding. He told me to take as much time as I needed as long as I kept them informed as to what was going on
It took me half an hour to fill in the forms and I was free to go
I spoke to my friend then I was off I couldn’t get out there quick enough
Once off site I didn’t know if I wonted to be sick first or have a smoke
But I had done it and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to