Act Your Age. in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Got out late. There was a car next to mine with its lights on, which was weird. Turned out just to be one of the waitresses. She was with a guy and I couldn’t tell who it was. I joked “Enjoy your make-out session.” They said they were just talking, but hey, I had to tease.

Got me thinking about carchats I’ve had in years past. I miss them.

Mind you, I’ve been really depressed today. Spent part of my shift contemplating how I may never have sex again, let alone be “dateable”. All thoughts that would make you go “hey, be nice to Timmy. I’m sure he’ll score some quality cuddles in time.” Some persistent feeling that I’m too olde and life has passed me by.

I’m reminded of something I said to my dad years ago. He expressed that he couldn’t lift as much because he’s getting older. Mind you, this was fifteen years ago. I told him, “It’s not getting older is making you lift less, it’s that lifting less is making you older.” Or something.

I’m just using lifting as an example.

I miss the very simple things that come with dating. I don’t think you’re ever too olde for a carchat. I get so lost in pondering “what do I have to offer” that I forget all the conversations I’ve had in the past. Just… talking. Being. I’m told not all guys can hold a conversation?

Moreover… my confidence is much different than it was years ago. Once you’ve laid it all out on the line and married someone, well. Everything else seems like a low level task. If I have interest in someone, at this point in my maturity, I just put myself out there and let that be that. Fuck it all and fucking no regrets.

Maybe that’s what “they” say by age yielding confidence.

Anyway, if flirty chatting in a car is something only for the young, then I am more than happy to act my age. Gosh, maybe scattershot dating would be fun. (Something I’ve never really done before.)

And to think I was lamenting today that I felt I had nothing left to say.