INTRODUCTION in ANXIETY AND ME

THURSDAY 11TH DECEMBER 2014

I have suffered with stress and anxiety in one form or another since the summer of 2014.
It started with the job that I do coupled with my situation at home and my aged mother.

I had spent months with palpation’s in my chest and shortness of breath, along with the feeling of fear and dread and paranoia and getting home most nights from work and crying in by bedroom and the feeling that I was being bombarded from all angels

It all came to a head one afternoon at work when the deputy manager decided to rip me to bits over something trivial she upset me so much I cried at work and on the way home
Come the following morning whilst I was out in the garden with the dogs this immense feeling came over me I can only describe it as fear and panic all I wanted to do was run away but I couldn’t move I could not will my legs to move
After ten minutes I managed to get to the back door by hanging on the wall and the door frame it then took me another 5 Minuit’s to get into the house and sit in my chair

I sat there for what seemed like hours and thought I really can not go to work and the more I thought about stepping foot in the building the more panicky and agitated I got my palpitations were back and I couldn’t breath
I had to make a decision do I go to work and end up doing something silly or do I call in sick and go to the doctors
My only option was to call in sick the thought of going to work made me feel sick

I called my friend at work and broke my heart I told her I really couldn’t come to work. She asked if the manager had upset me but she already knew the answerer

The next three days were a blur
I remember ringing the doctors and I remember sitting in the doctors room crying my eyes out but I have no idea how I got there .
I remember sitting in the castle grounds smoking a cigarette but the silly thing was I had given up for 6 months
The next thing I had to do was take my sick note into work as the doctor had signed me off for two weeks
As I stood in the office I physically shook I felt sick and I couldn’t look anybody in the eye even my friend
All I wanted to do was drop off my sick note and get the hell out of there

As I said the next three days were a blur all I did was sleep and when I was awake I stared into space
I shut my face book down for 3 days and dint leave the house I spoke to no one not even my partner
It took me till Monday to tell my mom and my sister what had happened