Slight rant. in Current Events

Yesterday I had one of the most cringe moments with Toni to date. I made a lasagna for supper, while I was making it she asked me when it was going to be ready. From her chest she pushed out the most egregious sigh when my answer wasn’t “right away.” It sent chills down my spine, I felt like I had a nagging teenager on my case. I wanted to slap her or snap. Of course, I would never.

This morning I cleaned up the kitchen. I went inside the fridge and pantries to make sure they were wiped down. Then I did the walls. I had to scrub Toni’s wine stains real good off the wall and counter. I usually catch it early before it stains. I didn’t want to spend my morning doing all that but someone has to be an adult and do the thankless stuff nobody feels like doing. I’m trying not to let this grown woman make me feel some type of way just because she commits to doing the bare minimum. She does not respect my stuff.

Being an adult, in my opinion, means doing the things you don’t feel like doing. Nobody is coming to parent you and make you put down your phone to exercise. To stop eating trash, to clean house, to stick to a budget, to manage yourself and your feelings etc. I have patience for young adults but people my age who are full of excuses I try to keep a distance from. They’re creepy.

My computer is still crashing, I don’t know what I’m going to do about it exactly. I applied for a part-time position at the thrift store in my area. I can save up and get new stuff, I suppose. I’ll keep applying around, I did get my computer to work long enough to update my resume at least.

Yesterday I signed up for Netflix and Amazon prime. Toni offered to pay for half, we shall see if she can commit. I do need to talk to her about this structuring of our finances. She wants to short squeeze me until the end of the month before she pays her share of the groceries. I only received one payment from her ever. I need to protect myself and take it out of the rent I send her. What grinds my gears is that she sent me a text at work about rent at 6am. Then she tried to make me wait an extra week to get something for groceries. She tells me that she doesn’t feel like she is an adult, like she is a child. Well, I feel like a parent.

“I’m low maintenance” she tells me. This claim is coming from her situation of living out of storage totes. No, she’s a high user. She uses all of my stuff. Stuff she said she already has but doesn’t want to bother digging it out of her parents shed. Without asking me she left me with the responsibility of having to purchase everything. Then she blew up at me because she couldn’t stomach seeing me make purchases while she felt that I owed her money. I was taking the groceries out of the rent as per our original agreement, then that made her feel short changed. When she is upset she is entitled to be abusive to others. She is not. I’m living with a financially abusive functional alcoholic.

She’s been better lately though. A placebo affect from her new medications. She thinks her anxiety and ADD is cured now. Her drinking suggests otherwise.

Whatever, I assume she is working today. Finally have a complete breather. I want to read my book and then debate the counterfeit Christians online for fun. They’re so demented. It makes more sense to them that God took a rib out of Adam literally instead of it being an allegory about taking a nucleus out of an atom. Their kindergarten view of the world turns them into full leftists once you challenge their re-legion.