What a weekend in The OpenDiary (OD) Days!
- Sept. 12, 2005, 5 a.m.
- |
- Public
What a weekend... - 9/12/2005
"Bleed Like Me" - Garbage
Avalanche is too sullen and too thin She starves herself to rid herself of sin And the kick is so devine When she sees bones beneathe her skin And she says: Hey baby can you bleed like me? C'mon baby can you bleed like me?
Chrissie's all dressed up and acting coy Painted like a brand new Christmas toy He's trying to figure out if he's a girl or a boy He says: Hey baby can you bleed like me? C'mon baby can you bleed like me?
Doodle takes dad's scissors to her skin And when she does relief comes setting in While she hides the scares she's making Underneath her pretty clothes She sings: Hey baby can you bleed like me? C'mon baby can you bleed like me?
therapy is Speedie's brand new drug Dancing with the Devil's past has never been too fun It's better off than trying to take a bullet from a gun And she cries: Hey baby can you bleed like me? C'mon baby can you bleed like me?
JT's gets all fucked up in some kareoke bar After two drinks he's a loser after three he's a star Getting all nostalgic as he sings "I will survive" Hey baby can you bleed like me? C'mon baby can you bleed like me?
You should see my scars You should see my scars You should see my scars You should see my scars And try to comprehend that Which you'll never comprehend
God I've had the biggest weekend. Well it seems like it. I guess I'll start where I left off.
I went to the movies with my msn friend whom I met off Mogenic. Turns out he's a pretty cool guy!! Heath's his name. Only 16, but a really confident, everyday's-a-good-one kinda guy. We saw Wallace and Grommit at the movies and it was really good! I quite enjoyed it considering I have never followed the series - probably cos I didn't know they showed a series, but I had heard of Wallace and Grommit somewhere. Turns out I didn't need to have seen the series to understand the movie - it was pretty self-explanatory and qutie a lugh too! Heath has such a loud laugh. There were only about 20 people in the cinema when we went on Sunday afternoon, and Heath's laugh was so much louder than anyone elses. See something like that, if I did it, may have made me feel self conscious unless I was watching it alone. Not Heath though - he belted out the laughter - and why not. He's a great kid and I'm really glad I met up with him to go to the movies. I still can't believe I did it. Asked a complete stranger who I'd only talked to on msn a few times (enough to trust he wasn't a freak) to go to the movies with me cos i was bored. He said sure, told me his addy and I picked him up and we went to Toombul. Glad he directed me cos I wasn't sure where I was going until I hit Sandgate Road. Lots of fun. I learnt a lot about him too. He does Ballet, and can do the same thumb-cracking-out-of-joint thing I can do. He couldn't believe it when I showed him I could do it too. Except he can only do it with one hand, wheras I've always been able to do it with both. It's weird, I musta fell off a bike or something when I was younger, I seriously can't remember, but I've always been able to do it. Anyway he does ballet and enters competitions and stuff. I really didn't picture him as a ballet type cos he's not all that feminine, but I guess that's another one of the world's stereotypes. Grrr. Anyway so i dropped him home, thanked him for the fun afternoon. Who knows if it'll happen again, but I was really glad I took the initiative and did something completely random like that. It's up to him if he wants to keep a friendship with me I guess.
I was on msn a loong time with him last night. It was such a good conversation. my best friend Sam was online as well and was telling me about all his latest excupades (sp?) - hahaha, he always makes me laugh. He met this really cute guy, but doesnt think they can be long-term, so he just wants to have fun. I was like, 'my god Sam, look what I've done to you!' - haha. He's fantastic though. I dunno what I'd do without my Sam. He may be on the other side of the country, but he's always been there for me - always. I met him like 4 years ago now, maybe going on 5 even. And what a journey it's been since then. That guy seriously changed my life. And last night I found out that apparently I influence him. After everything he's done for me, and the person I am today, I now influence him. Gosh that felt so good coming from someone I respect so much. I love you Sam, you're the best mate a guy like me could ever have. You know how there's one person you tell every single detail of your life to? Well for me it's Sam. This diary has everything I do, but Sam usually hears it all first. He's my mentor. If only he didn't live in Perth. I still am amazed I met him two years ago when I went on holidays there. He hasn't changed much. He's doing a modelling shoot and going out to lunch with the 'really cute' guy he met. Good on him I say. He really deserves it after all he's been through.
Anyway, last night's convo with him. I'm getting the feeling we like each other. The hints are getting less and less subtle. My msn icon said "If I could do anything, it would be to kiss you in the middle of the street, on the rainest day of the year", and he said, "You know, I heard tomorrow's suppose to be the rainiest day this year." - gullible me took him serously before I realised how it connected with what my icon read. Haha. Sam's like, 'omg it's so obvious.' We arranged to meet up today in the city - him and I. He wanted to help me search for my Garbage Cd/DVD which came out on Sunday. I emt up with him at HMV in the mall at 10am. I recognised him right away when he arrived, as I arrived a little before him. I walked up and gave him a hug. The whole day was spent looking at record stores and the occasional clothes store. He was after a jacket cos he's going on a cruise later this year and his mum is getting married also. We talked heaps too. At one stage we were eating Red Rooster on the benches in the mall, and something must have gone down the wrong pipe, and he sorta gagged. Thankfully he recovered, but I said to him (and this is a running joke), "Damn I thought that was a mouth-to-mouth opportunity!" That got a smile outta him :) hehehe. He's so damn cute. I seriously love looking in my eyes, his face. He was wearing awesome clothes today too. Great guy. I do wonder about the relationship thing though, cos it's not confirmed he likes me, but also I think we may be different people. Just cos of the music he's into that I'm not and vice versa. But who knows, that does seem petty/little. He had to leave at 2pm and I msg'd my friend Lindsay to see what he was up to. met up with him and hung out with him for a few hours, went to the valley, had a cup of coffee at the coffee club and walked back with him. God that guy's hilarious. he nearly had me splitting my sides laughing at a few stages. Gotta love him. Turns out him and Luke apparently spoke on msn and their friendship is all over. Lindsay said 'there was a lot of arrogence involved," didn't really say much else. It's just so sad because Luke is the guy who I met THROUGH Lindsay, and now they don't even have a friendship. sigh. i know Luke's having it tough lately, but he's always telling me about how we shouldn't weep about how bad things are. i think he takes too much upon himself sometimes, and doesn't want anyone to care about him, like he can handle it on his own. Liek the fight he and his boyfriend had yesterday when I got home from the movies. Well, I'm presuming it was a fight. He'd better not be treating Adam like crap cos Adam's a good guy from what I can see. I think Luke just needs a holiday. I can see now why he wants to get away from here. Me living with him can't help him much, especially i what he said is true - that he still has feeling for me. Where does that leave me? I spent ages trying to move on from him! You can see that in my previous entries. And I have moved on from him. I was left with no choice. And if there's a chance with him, then who knows where I'll be. I keep tellign myself I don't wanna fuck things up this time, so I keep being careful with him. I so wanted to kiss him today, but I restrained myself. I know I've gotta be the one to make the first move. I just get that vibe, that he won't do it. And then I wonder if I really should. Would that make things strange? I mean I so just wanna kiss him, feel how his beautiful lips feel on his gorgeous face. How weird is this feeling I'm feeling. He's absolutely adorable. I want to kiss him but I don't want to hurt him, or myself by doing so. I get the impression he wouldn't mind if I did. I guess I'll give it time and see what happens. I just find it amazing he's not sick of hanging out with me yet. i see myself as ordinary after a few meetings - but he always seems genuinely interested. Unlike Heath or someone, who I don't expect to meet again, but ya never know. He seems to genuinely want to get to know me. Oh God he's such a flirtatious guy on msn, and I guess I subtly do back, but gosh I'm amazed by him. He's probably Garbage's biggest fan, and today i found myself buying THREE Garbage albums. The one I got shopping with him, cos I want to know the lyrics when I go to the concert, and another two I got after he'd left to go to work, when I was hanging with Lindsay. I bought two $10 ones, which I thought was a pretty good deal. I left the Androdgeny one there cos it was $27, but I'll try to get it cheap elsewhere. I'm sure the more I hang out with him, I'll have it soon enough haha. I gotta be careful though. He doesnt seem too good with money, but we'll see how that goes. if anything, I'd love to stay his friend and not fuck things up you know? I dunno about the whole friends with benefits thing cos I've never done that before, nor really want to start to be like that as intruiging as it sometimes may be, and I'm sure neither would he. He's just so...i dunno, like you wanna kiss him and hold his hand and talk to him, explore what's on his mind. It's weird. And he's the psychology student! He's probably brainwashing me hahahaha.
Anyway after lindsay took off, I met up with Michael Anthony at his work. he reckons he can get me the Keeping Up Appearances Dvd's for like $45 each, but only if he buys em. So I gotta give him the money. I am a bit iffy about it cos of the huge brew we had over the Destiny's Child concert tickets, and he might not keep up his part of the deal, and keep my money. So I'm wondering whehter I should. i nealry gave him the money for them today - even went to the ATM and got it out - but then decided last minute not to give it to him..yet. I met his boyfriend Cory - seems like a really nice guy. Quite cute, i can see my MA digs him - they've been going out for a month as of yesterday - so cute. He deserves it. Good couple i reckon.
i watched "Strange Bedfellows" on TV last night. A lot of gay guys bag it out, but I think it's great movie. Seriously. Paul Hogan starring in a movie like that musta been so different for him. And it wasn't a bad ending. It was a happy ending, which really made everyone happy. If you've seen it you'll know what I'm talking about.
My friend Scott was being really weird on MSN last night. It's not the first time he's done this. I think he's lonely and is in desperate need of affection. He kept pleading with me to go over and fuck him. Scott knows I don't do that, so then tried to make me feel bad by asking me why I never asked him out. I said there is no possible way he can pin that question on me, because he is a friend and if I fucked him it would fuck up the friendship. He seemed to agree with that one. We didn't talk the rest of the night really cos I was concentating on him so much, he even went on webcam for me just so I could see his gorgeous face. I kept joking with him that the sheets were moving (cos he was in bed), which meant he was jerking off. He put his hands up to the screen. hahahahhaa. I said goodnite to scott and he goes 'wait! one thing first', I said 'what is it?' - he goes, 'can i at least see your cock?'
"Goodnite Scott" and I went offline. I worry about that guy sometimes. He seems to always feel everyone againgst him and no-one loves him, but he's strong enough not to let it lead to depression. I've never seen him depressed, just frustrated and lonely. When he has had a bf he's been so happy. Last night I swear he just needed affection. Whether he found that in the form of a fuck for the night, I'm not sure, but good luck to him.
Luke and I had a massive tickling/wrestling match last night. We nearly tore the house apart hahaha - it got pretty voilent. Gosh it's fun being ticklish, musta went on for like 2 hours or so. At least that seemed to cheer him up from whatever crap he had been going through in his room with that talk with his boyfriend. I hope everything's ok. I was going to say something to Adam that the best thing he can do is just give Luke some room to breathe, but I figured no, I'll stay out of this, it isn't my business. I'm sure he'll figure that out soon enough. I think from that I've realuised something. If you want to know how to handle someone properly, just go to that person's ex boyfriend or girlfriend, cos they'll be the one who knows.
Love you guys, thanks for putting up with this entry. I never knew you could do so much in one weekend without even going out clubbing! I even had room to do my washing and clean the dishes! I wish more weekends could be like this one is. I'm hopefully hanging out with him again tomorrow. big grin
-Matt
Notes: --------------------------------------------------------------------
Just a thought sweety but, how about buying the Keeping Up Appearances off of eBay.... I love that show by the way! Funny stuff. [3daygomer] 9/12/2005 9:51:44 AM
Some of my best friends are from a long-term online friendship. This site has been good for that actually.
I have a straight friend who does ballet, and he's kind of butch. Its so hot. lol [Sometimes El Gallo] 9/12/2005 10:03:10 AM
woo for ballet!
Stereotyping is hard to get away from. The problem is that we know way too much about stereotypes to forget them. [Jeffaphonic] 9/12/2005 10:46:49 AM
Glad you had fun this weekend and see you multi-tasked that is sweet.
Take care cutie!! [SEPIA EMISSION] 9/12/2005 11:42:49 AM
Wow, sounds like a pretty nice weekend! It's obvious that you realy like him and I really don't know how he could have met you and not realize that you are an amazing person with so much love and understanding. HE has to like you, who couldn't. It sounds pretty obvious that he does. Anywho, take care my friend. [C-Dub85] 9/12/2005 12:03:54 PM
1) I don't know of any 21 year old's that want to hang around with me,
2) he wants your hog bad.
3) the other guy wants your hog also.
i like calling penises hogs, they sound so much dirier and etc that way...or something.
hog hog hog. OINK. [penfifteen] 9/12/2005 2:52:02 PM
LOL i like the asterisks around him and he
;-)
*****! [LegallyGay80] 9/12/2005 2:54:02 PM
Wow! Long entry there. lol. Hope things work out for you and him! :) [jpmoneyz] 9/12/2005 3:24:32 PM
Good Luck!
[The Cherry] 9/12/2005 3:41:21 PM
escapades. you are SUCH a pedophile. but i'd totally date you. ;-),
[Prince Zidane] [p] 9/12/2005 3:46:57 PM
You're so cute...worrying about kissing him...try to take things slow, okay? Good luck! [broken.wings.] 9/12/2005 6:30:08 PM
Keeping Up Appearances? As in 'Hyacinth BOU-QUET...?'
Used to love that show when I was a kid. Everyone else watched the simpsons, Ren and Stimpy and South Park but this was it for me (well Dad wasn't keen on the others anyway).
You seem happy, but hey, do you get my notes? I know I have been ordinary with notes myself but I'm going to be better from now on. [TheBlindArcher] 9/12/2005 7:19:19 PM
I don't know where to start, It's just that enjoy reading your diary so incredibly much. You seem like such a nice guy, and I hope to read more of you soon. (BTW, it's escApades (Dutch boy telling you))
X mick
(PS. I'm not really dutch...) [Amadeus] 9/12/2005 8:47:03 PM
RYN: I appreciate the thought. Yeah, I was there. And it was happening all around me. Scariest day of my life. By far. [Sex Hound] 9/12/2005 8:56:42 PM
thanks! uh...did you want the kiss? or had you realized your sexuality by then? [Interpreter of Life] 9/12/2005 9:08:45 PM
what exactly about my writing astounds you? [Prince Zidane] 9/12/2005 10:06:40 PM
I finally got the last keyboard key out of my forehead! ha! I looked all around for the DVD set and I could only find it for $99 US dollars. Sorry... but it's the thought right? [3daygomer] 9/12/2005 10:18:29 PM
RYN: GOT ONE ALREADY ;) hehehe, [penfifteen] 9/12/2005 10:31:43 PM
Tag..you're it [AndyFishy] 9/13/2005 1:09:11 AM
hey there- it's way cool that you're being considerate of him and want to take it slow. i'm bad about that. who knows- it may really pay off into something special later on... =-) tickle fights are fun! i hope that scott finds the attention that he needs... sometimes you just want a f*ck, but, usually you need something deeper than that. you sound happy and healthy and i'm so glad!!!
rock on, [easy, happy, endings] 9/13/2005 12:06:11 PM
i hope things work out with you and him. I know you are a sweet guy, and he seems pretty cool from the day that you had together. :) Despite your differences in music. Best of luck to you both! :) <3
Stephanie [SinginStephie] 9/13/2005 12:07:33 PM
Escapade. There's an accent on one of the letters in ther somewhere.
shudders at the thought of Wallace and Grommet Claymation makes me queasy. [Rachel Erin] 9/13/2005 1:56:24 PM
Hey, glad you had a awesome weekend! I thought about you the other night when I went out clubbing, because this Tina Cousins video came on, she is very pretty! And I liked the song, cant remember the name of it though. I feel kinda excited about the new person I met recently also. I love that new tickly excitingness! Its awesome! Love ya man, take care of yourself!
-JJ :) [shrektrek] 9/13/2005 6:16:24 PM
OK let me get this right. You're going to the movies with Billy Elliott. Scott wants you for sexual pleasure. You have massive violent tickle wrestling fights with Luke. And you still won't refer to "him" and "he" by name. Nothing else is a mystery in the lfe of Matt. Why is "him?" Are you teasing? Make us want more? Well it's working! :-) I think you need to get pinned down and tickled! Jeffy
[mobyduck] 9/13/2005 7:52:19 PM
Sometimes is fun to just do something on the spur of the moment. Sounds like you had fun. Way to go Matt!!
Ben [Taste The Rain Bow] 9/13/2005 8:02:37 PM
Sounds like him has a crush on Matt!... Matt and him sitting in a tree! K.I.S.S.I.N.G. First comes love.... well, you know the song but I am really happy for you!
-Brett Hartel [Archer_Mage] 9/13/2005 10:58:35 PM
Yeah - don't part with your money. I agree with first noter. Get it off eBay or buy it online somewhere else !!
I love reading you. Your entries are brilliant mwah
And I'm so proud of you for asking Heath to the movies :o) Sounds like something I'd do LOL. [Ezra_Medic] 9/16/2005 8:43:08 PM
Last updated May 13, 2014
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