Life in Help Me Please

If you don’t like your life then you need to change it. And if your life is too busy and you can’t keep up then that has to change also. But we are doing these things or not doing these things because we have become comfortable but then sometimes the depression over rides how we feel about a lot of things.
I would say I have a life that is considered a lazy life because I don’t do a whole lot during a day. And this reason is because of my weight and the way I feel about myself and how much I hate myself. I still don’t look in a mirror for very long and I will never put make up on again after learning how they test it. And the chemicals that are used to make it and the dyes.

I am stating to see myself different and the way my body is suppose to be. As the weight comes off I get a better picture of how I am feeling and the new energy I have. Even walking up the hill yesterday didn’t take as long as it did the last time I went up. With every pond I lose the easier it gets. But the one thing I need to realize is that not every week I am going to lose the 5 pounds like I did the very first week. it has to do with what I eat and how much and to make sure I keep track.
it seems to me that the only who thinks I should be doing more and eating differently is my mom. And she is probably right but a person can only eat so much fruits and vegetables in a day and to give up your carbs is almost like killing me. So slow and steady and I will get to a point where I can have a table spoon of carbs and be okay with that.

The hardest part about loosing weight is looking at the scale and figuring how much more there is to loose and then getting frustrated because it’s not coming off fast enough and then the feelings of wanting to give up comes in and then the depression then the eating that one chip which turns into the whole bag then you feel really gross and hate yourself even more. So far I haven’t done that. I had planed on loosing 2 pounds a week but it won’t work out that way so my time line will change every week but my end goal will stay the same.
This time around I am not going to beat myself up for not loosing every week and I am not going to listen to my mother who thinks I am not loosing enough. Right now I am going to tell her how she is going about my weight loss is not right for me and she needs to support me no matter how much i loose or don’t loose in a week. because so far I have lost a little bit more then 10 pounds and I think that is awesome for being on this new way of life for three weeks. The hard part is remembering to not devata and gain weight once this is all over because then I will have to start all over the again. So this time I have told myself no more being a yo yo. Anyways yo yo’s make me dizzy.

Well today not much is happening and it’s going to be a quiet day. and we will be sharing a steak unless there is some in the big freezer then we will have our own. And hubby wants to do a freezer inventory and I will have to make a list of what we have. And because of the cooler weather and the rain we won’t be cutting the grass till further notice when the weather is not so wet.

Onto something else.....
Well I need to stop here…
Hubby woke up early so it’s time to eat....
Be Kind, Be Calm, Be Safe and Behave.

Last updated August 22, 2021