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Will You Wither or Will You Thrive?
by Mickie Zada

The most powerful source on earth is the human soul on fire.

The most powerful personal growth lesson I’ve embraced is that I create my reality with my thoughts and actions. The choice is mine…will I wither or will I thrive? To be on fire, to create the life we were sent here to live, to become healthy and vibrant Cool Retired Women, our choice has to be … THRIVE.
Each of us has suffered through withering. Unfortunately, some of us get stuck there. For some, the past has been so traumatic and damaging, it’s difficult to let go of the anger, fury, fear and the disheartening, self-deprecating feelings of guilt and anguish. It’s not an easy choice to thrive. So many emotionally and physically damaging incidents have occurred: The withered Being, that shell of who You are, feels normal after a while.
It’s not.
No matter how long you’ve elected to feel withered, thriving is still a choice you are able to embrace.
A coach once told me the best revenge is to live well. There was a time that retaliation is what moved me out of victimhood. That negative space, revenge, and retaliation is not a place to build a condo. Moving through the anger, though, feeling and releasing it, can be invigorating. Release of who we were is often required before we are ready and able to embrace our soul on fire
I discovered that I didn’t know who I was after I was forced to retire about three years earlier than I planned. Previous to retiring, I had not realized how much My Identity was attached to my profession.
Rather than embrace a victim mentality and wither away in self-doubt, fear, anxiety, and lack of confidence, my choice was to take baby steps toward re-discovering Me and creating the life I love. I set my soul on fire. The suggestions below worked for me in that process; I bet they’ll work for you, too.
Do One New Thing a Month, for a year
It’s important that we move from Where we are to Who we are. One challenge I embraced was to do one new thing a month for a year. 12 new things. Personal growth, discovery of you, will be exciting, invigorating, and a lot of fun.
In my journey to discover Me, I chose to attend different churches, read books written by authors I hadn’t previously explored (I became a library regular!), learned to meditate, joined Meet-ups around topics that sounded interesting. I also took fly fishing and ballroom dancing lessons, tried acrylic fingernails, got hooked on the indulgence of pedicures, joined Toastmasters, and tried several different variations of yoga. You get the idea. I strongly recommend trying new things…it’s a fabulous way to excavate you.
Journal
I began journalling several years prior to retirement and continued journaling my experiences and growth. It is easy to forget where we were physically and emotionally last week or last month. Days, weeks, and months flow together without a schedule or routine, which many of us leave behind with our jobs.

We don’t usually celebrate the baby steps we take in our forward motion toward embracing who we are. I enjoy writing about current challenges and ideas about how to resolve them. Journaling helps clarify where we are and where we’re headed.

If you haven’t journaled in the past, I suggest you give it a try. If you’re a regular journal-er, YEA! You already know and reap the benefits of talking to yourself in writing.
Develop a Survivor Attitude
When we focus on a belief that our situation is worse than someone else’s, we are living in a withered state. Have you ever said or thought “But, you’re not like me. You haven’t had to deal with what I’ve gone through. You don’t know how bad I’ve had it.”?
This thought process creates a victim mentality, which is an unhealthy place to be. Growth can not flourish while we choose victimhood. Your soul won’t embrace the fire of thriving as long as you hang on to a victim mentality.
When we choose to thrive, the Universe provides each of us with everything we need. In your heart, you know where you want to be. At your core, you feel Who you are and that you have gifts, talents, stories to share. The truth is, you have the opportunity right now to take your life, your joy, to the next level. You have the opportunity to choose to thrive…today. Discover and apply actions, baby steps, that will help you become more of You every single day.
All of your life experiences, the good, bad, horrible, and happy, have placed you in a perfect position to succeed in creating your new life. Everything in the Universe has brought you to this point so you are now able to shine and become a change agent. Release any inkling of victimhood still lurking in your heart and mind. Your natural state is to thrive.
All you have to do is show up and take baby steps forward.
The most powerful source on earth is the human soul on fire.