Saturn Day in Current Events

I had my talk with Toni. It went well enough. Naturally, she was lost for about half of it. I put together a list of the expenses and our agreement, at her behest, and she has no memory of requesting it. She didn’t even look at it. I explained how much I spent on groceries and essentials and she could not understand why it added up to so much. I offered her transparency, I have all of the receipts. She is an adult, she has lived on her own before, yet she doesn’t understand how everything adds up. By the end of the conversation, we agreed to just call it even. I shattered her victim narrative. However, we did not discuss any of her behavior.

It is starting to become clear to me that I am living with an addict. She is a functional alcoholic and it is absolutely affecting me. I’ll look into what I need to do from here on Alanon. The conversation didn’t leave me satiated because I did want her to understand how I have been the supply for absolutely everything. Even the grocery arrangement does not respect my time or my money. It revolves completely around her. She wants me to pay the internet bill and she pay the hydro, instead of splitting it evenly because it is about the same. Now she is trying to get me to pay half of the hydro? So menacing. She seems to need to cleave to something that she can use to leverage power over me. Now I use too much electricity or something. I can’t keep up with her changing mind.

The other day she did cook for me. That was nice. It felt like amends. I spent the night at my sister’s and today I noticed that, overnight, she ate absolutely everything in sight that was in the fridge that was instantly accessible. It felt like a statement but I am telling myself that she is getting her money’s worth. I can’t let this become a toxic situation for me. What I do need to discuss is how she wants to pay her half in groceries at the end of the month. That leaves me short-changed for the first half. It’s things like that which make my head spin. She seems to just be entitled to me being her supply. I am living with a child it feels. She knows she is codependent, she explained to me that her therapist said so. It’s really starting to show.

Whatever, this is not a huge deal, yet. Big things have small beginnings and I need to put my foot down and let her know what is an acceptable way to treat me. She is taking advantage, everyone can see it. She also seems to be entitled to mistreat me when she feels upset. We are not in a relationship and my time and money are none of her business. I bought myself a shelf and a TV stand and a plant, a wandering Jew. She tried to spin a narrative to upset me about it. Nah, bro.

Today I am going to have a beach day with my sister and her children. The province is practically wide open now. It always was but Canadians seem to forget that the power comes from the ground up and not the top down. Whatever, fuck those commies. They will be their own demise. Today is the day that the mask mandates are over. It is up to the business to decide if they will implement any mask rules. That better flop, they are making a medical decision for their patrons. Those superstitious idiots who vehemently believe in viral possession are an endangered species right now. They have no self-respect or self-responsibility to manage their own health and require the world to bend to them. They offloaded all of the sensemaking and decisions to people who have no regard for the human condition. They will pay the ultimate price for their egregious ignorance very shortly. We all have a responsibility to be intelligent. They failed the IQ test.

A woman I work with, who I pick up on the way to work, just learned about what happens when the mRNA doesn’t stop. She’s fully vaccinated and now she is devastated and afraid. I don’t know what to tell her. I only discuss this with two people at work because they are free thinkers, unlike the cable news cult of covidiots. Whatever, I just want to enjoy today and every day again.

The other day I realized that I am not connected to anything. I have no goals. They’re all on the back burner during this world war against globalism. The war that those who failed to modernize know nothing about. The majority of Gen X are just a complete waste. The old normal only served them, it will never serve them again. That paradigm is dying. They would know that if they learned how to become digitally literate but nope. If that were true the news would say so. Says the real conspiracy theorists. Losers.... apparently I’m still salty about this. I have to learn to live with this heavy disappointment in that gross class of people. Anyway, I need to connect to nature and to god, which is one in the same. The esoteric sciences I have been slacking on. It’s demented to think there are 97 genders and that the Christian bible was recording history. It’s all allegories that explain the real word of God, Astro logos. Astrology. It explains how we are the measure of the universe and mustn’t be the measure of good and evil. Which the counterfeit Christians have done. They suck at it, at being a measure of good an evil. Candace Owens, for example, is pro-life but pro-vaccine choice. We can save our babies and cannibalize them too.

Conservatives: Gender is not a social concept.
Also conservatives: Bring back manly men.

I’m just looking at the right-wing now and noticing how they are the same thing as the left. Whatever though, we need left and right.

I’m all over the place today, it’s been too long since I wrote an entry. Blah!