Sense & Sensibility in Aftermath

So it’s Sunday today I’m feeling okay I went to sleep by taking two Ativan and think it really knocked me out cuz I’m thinking a lot especially at night

I got all my daily things that I post for my Instagram my crystal of the day my card of the day and I did a pick a card I’m going to do a card again today another Crystal of the day and another part of the day as well as maybe an intuition test and maybe another pick a card and then maybe another pick a card YouTube video possibly if not tomorrow.

I’m going to this event tonight I’m interested in it should be good but I’m worried freaking Karen is going to be in it cuz she wants to be indigenous enough when she’s not even indigenous but even if she is like I’ll let her I’m not going to say anything to her she’s there I’m going to continue to stay there though might not say anything but I will stay there this time f her if she is I love her to say some s about being native cuz It’ll be pretty funny

But fingers crossed she’s not there so I can actually connect with people who feel the same way as me don’t feel indigenous enough I feel like going to fool feel like a loser if you like an imposter

The lady running the group has blonde hair blue eyes so she looks even less indigenous than I do so that helps I know when my Metis Community there’s people that really look non-indigenous and I can probably relate to that Community probably better than First Nations obviously because of the mix and because it’s another distinct culture.

But my first apparently my first White ancestor on my mother’s side was not fully white he was native M’miqmaq that was interesting to find out that it goes even way back I’m also Arcadian French which in Louisiana would be called Cajun. Broken telephone Arcadian to Cajun.

Anyways very sunny day out I want to do something I don’t know what I’m feeling good though I didn’t feel really tired yesterday but today I’m feeling more energetic to be able to do something and figure something out a project maybe maybe some beating I don’t know do my daily rituals which help me keep me in the some type of schedule which helps with my anxiety and my depression my worry and keeps me going and helps me daily for my future for my present

I was looking at other listings and there’s one other one that I might want to look at and there’s also I think one on the floor but I don’t know the area it’s that great it’s the main floor I wouldn’t take a basement apartment it would be too depressing for me and bugs I don’t like.

I’m also watching sense and sensibility it’s okay it’s kind of taking me off kilter with the actors in it Hugh Grant and Kate Winslet I don’t know it’s hard for me to see them as people from the Victorian ages or whatever but it’s a good movie. I think my favorite so far has been Pride and Prejudice though I finished Junior last night and it was good too it reminds me a lot of my life in the cruelty of injured and the institutions I’ve been in and having to be my own person and not wanting to belong to anyone and always having someone wanting to have to control me you know not love me or Set Me Free or being equal.

I used to settle for wanting to be relationship but now I truly want to be single in a lot of people just really seem weird about that we don’t have to be with men especially if men are going to act the way they are a lot of the time.

I’m going to try to finish Ophelia after that but I don’t like a fairly as much and it didn’t get the best rating so no wonder but it didn’t it was only six out of 10 it wasn’t a horrible reading it’s just harder for me to get into it’s a bit different than the other ones but I’m sure I’ll enjoy it a bit and I will be able to get through it.

Last updated August 08, 2021