Holiday in Aftermath

So it’s Sunday no it’s Monday I thought it was the week but it’s still a f holiday great probably spent all my f** check

I don’t know I just feel like s*** again I’m so confused about life and what I feel and what I think is isolation kind of messes you have you up with your head I wake up with anxiety again and sadness and pain and not knowing where I’m going to go from here

Wanting to be optimistic but finding it really hard to be with everything around me and the people around me just make me feel less alone pretty much you know I feel like that psychic ripped me off no she didn’t write me off but I kind of just felt ripped off because usually I get a lot more to talk to her but she didn’t really want to talk too much like last time and any questions I had she was kind of passive aggressive in ways not sure why but whatever.

So I’m going to look for a better psychic I mean I like when they have prices that are good but and they are really good but then they’re just attitudes not right so I don’t know hopefully I can find someone not necessarily anymore expensive but I don’t know at one point maybe online maybe in person it’s hard because when you’re a psychic and you’re a tarot reader yourself it’s hard for you to like believe or it’s hard to find good ones because there’s so many fake ones or there’s ones that think that they’re really good but they’re not and it also takes a long time you have to can create a connection with the person as well cold reading you know it can only go so far people think that if you tell too much to a psychic then it’s like they’re cheating but it’s not you tell them what you want to obviously and it helps them narrow down and it helps them decide for the cards to your situation beautiful reader it’s like we get visions I get visions and I don’t know exactly how they fit into the whole story maybe that’s something I need to be more advanced on or maybe that’s just how I work but when people tell me oh like for example like I’ll say something about offense they’ll be like oh yeah I feel really fenced in right now or I’m starting fencing and then you’re like oh okay that makes sense right and it leads that psychic into the right way and any good psychic won’t use that to their advantage but we’ll use that to help the person asking the question

It’s a nice day out today I don’t know where to start or what to do I feel like I have to do a bit of cleaning up I smudge this morning I think I’m running out of smudge though I need to do some kind of cleansing apparently I’m blocked which I know I am but I’m not sure why

she didn’t really give me any good ideas about how to cleanse I’m part Italian and she’s Italian and I thought maybe she’d have some ways to cleanse me, but she either would didn’t want to tell me or she didn’t know but she didn’t tell me either way she just said crystals and oils I don’t know maybe she wanted more money for it I’m not sure I just felt weird about the experience it was okay it was a one off wasn’t too expensive but I almost wish I saved my money

Anyways I don’t know what I’m going to do again today I feel lonely I wish I had someone to be around tired I might go out tonight not sure.