Evil in Journal

Talking with DH yesterday, he divulged to me that his dad had called him Evil.
I was, of course, shocked and appalled and reacted rather strongly to this news. According to DH, the exact words were “Withholding a grandchild is evil.”
Even more concerning than what his dad said to him, DH’s reaction and thoughts about it; he is on several levels committed to excusing his dad’s incredible hypocrisy and aggression towards him. Although, I will say that DH has come a long way in simply acknowledging that his parent’s behavior is unacceptable, he still acts as if it is acceptable.
Additionally, when I asked about what he thought about their attempts to visit, invite us, or do anything at all except blame DH for “withholding”, DH told me that they had invited us but every time there was just something going on. So I said, Hang On, did you tell them this? Oh, yes. I was talking to them then and there- sometimes we’re busy, and sometimes they are.
So, said I, what you’re telling me is that according to your dad, you are willfully withholding their grandchild and at the same time everyone’s just been too busy? WTF am I missing?
Ah, yeah. I didn’t say he had a good argument. DH admitted.
WHAT. A good argument? That’s not even being a good sociopath! I mean- at least show some aggression that you can then project onto the other person and claim defense. And this is the behavior that is intended to win over our confidence in them as grandparents?! Holy Fuck Batman.
DH is… continuously hopeless. He constantly hedges for his parents, particularly his dad. “Well, he wasn’t yelling or anything.” he told me in defense of his dad.
So what? So what he wasn’t yelling? I mean, good that he wasn’t yelling, but it’s also good that he isn’t murdering someone either. What’s your point?
I just sometimes feel so helpless in the face of DH’s constant and endless idealization of his parents.