Slice of life: waiting to see the oral surgeon (One in a series, July 16, 2021) in Daydreaming on the Porch

There were five of us caught up randomly (?) in one of those little moments in time waiting to see one or the other of five oral surgeons. They all partnered at the practice I was referred to when I had to have a tooth extracted earlier this summer. A first-ever experience for me.

We were spread out in a very small waiting room on one of those blisteringly hot July mornings. It felt cool and good to be inside, even though I had a feeling I might have to wait a while. It was a good thing I didn’t have to actually have an extraction or implant done. I was only there to have the doctor check to see if the site of the extraction and implant had healed enough so that I could go ahead and have my dentist place a crown there. After the hideous expense of all this, I wanted to get the work done as soon as possible.

My hopes for a quiet wait wherein I could just glance off into space or read something on my phone were dashed when I immediately “had” to tune into the rather animated conversation of the two masked ladies across from me. It was one of those conversations you just can’t help overhear. The tiny waiting room was quite conducive to that, unfortunately. One of the two ladies was discussing a story that appeared apparently on her Facebook feed about a woman on a beach pointing a stun gun, or maybe it was a real gun, at a dog dashing at her without warning. According to the conversation I was listening to, the woman shouted at the owner of the dog, “If it comes any closer I’ll shoot.”

Guiltily, I realized this was getting interesting, more so than the article on my phone I was idly trying to concentrate on. How can you help not hear those kinds of comments. Apparently, both of them were talking about an Internet discussion on the legality of the actions if the woman on the beach, and whether she was being defensive or aggressive.

The man with the dog claimed he was in “mortal danger.” The woman across from me said that if she was on the beach and his dog was coming at her it would be the last thing the dog ever attacked. Whoa!

The ladies were getting riled up. This conversation obviously was getting a bit too dramatic. They were plotting how to add their two cents to the discussion. The companion of the woman who was doing most of the talking said the man with the dog needed some kind of enema, and she would post that exact sentiment to the discussion if the other woman wouldn’t. They snickered together at that clever retort.

Meantime, as I’ve tried to say, there was no escape from all this. It was a virtual blitzkrieg of gossipy prattling. I gave up trying to concentrate on what I was reading on my phone. I and the other two patients sat there stone-faced, a captive audience of three. I was squirming, both intrigued and repelled. I could sympathize with the woman to some extent. A dear friend years ago was viciously attacked and bitten by a dog out of the blue.

It makes me wonder what kind of firearms or facsimiles people are secretly carrying in their handbags or knapsacks, or, if you live in Texas, not secretly at all. I ended up waiting about 40 minutes to see the doctor, but mercifully the two ladies’ conversation moved on to other topics, but still I had to listen to them the whole time. On and on. Blah, blah, blah! At one point I thought to myself, “Well, I might as well join in.” But then I figured I might say something I regretted, so I kept quiet.

Suddenly, I had the urge to tell the receptionist I had to run out quickly to the drugstore and would be back in about a half an hour. But I knew that wouldn’t work. Then I thought I’d have to step out of the office and stand for a while outside in the baking heat to escape. Nope, that wouldn’t be worth it.

So I calmed myself down because I really was in a fairly good mood. This after all was a classic slice of life, and I was smack dab in the middle of it. The audience member with a front-row seat. And, as Eckhart Tolle said so memorably, and which I discussed in another “slice-of-life” entry here recently, “Accept the moment as it is.” In life you have to be prepared for anything. The banal and the sublime.

Finally, patients started popping out the door and exiting the building, so we five got our hopes up that we would soon have our appointments underway. We’d been waiting anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes.

But the last man to enter the waiting room before me apparently was called next, to the chagrin of the chattering ladies.

First lady: “Didn’t we get here before him?”

Second lady: “Yes, way before him. Why is he going ahead of us? It looks like to me like the last are going first and the first are going last.” I had to smile at that one.

Then I was called. I didn’t dare look behind me as I went in to the doctor, again, ahead of the two ladies. I had gotten there about 15 minutes after they had. Is life fair?

Once in the office there were some cheerful banter with the doctor’s assistant, and then, the x-ray and my basics came up on a large screen right in front of me. It looked like a 36-inch TV screen with giant x-rays of my teeth on one side and to the right, my age and some medical conditions (anxiety, depression), all up there for anyone to easily see. This is really quite disconcerting when you happen to be my age because nothing can be quite so indicative of one’s mortality as seeing any kind of x-ray displayed mere feet from where you’re sitting, as well as some of my medical history and my age.

Fortunately, the doctor quickly popped in all bright and cheery, looked at the site where my tooth had been pulled, and said it looked good and I was ready to get the crown put on. Within minutes I was in my car heading off to other errands. Moments in time recalled here and which will only live on if they happen to stay affixed to this infinitesimal corner of the internet.

Last updated July 19, 2021