You guys are the best! in The OpenDiary (OD) Days!

You guys are the best! - 6/7/2005

 (Taken from an Ohio newspaper)

        Abuse Through A Child's Eyes

My name is Sarah, I am but three My eyes are swollen, I cannot see. I must be stupid, I must be bad what else could have made my daddy so mad? I wish I were better, I wish I weren't ugly Then maybe my mommy would still hug me. I can't speak at all, I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up all day long. When I wake up, I'm all alone The house is dark, my folks aren't at home. When mommy does come, I'll try and be nice So maybe I'll get just one whipping tonight. Don't make a sound, I've just heard a car My daddy is back from Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse, my name he calls, I press myself against the wall I try to hide from his evil eyes. I'm so afraid now, I'm starting to cry He find me weeping, he shouts ugly words. He says it's my fault he suffers at work He slaps me and hits me and yells at me more. I finally get free and run for the door He's already locked it, and I start to bawl. He takes me and throws me against the hard wall I fall to the floor, my bones nearly broken. And my daddy continues more bad words "I'm sorry!" I scream, but it's much too late. His face has been twisted into unimaginable hate The hurt and the pain, again and again Oh, please God, have mercy, oh please let it end. And he finally stops land heads for the door While I lay there motionless, sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah, I am but three And tonight my daddy murdered me.

    Now I know normally I put a dirty joke or a song that's appropraite in my right hand column, but I read this and it near brought tears to my eyes. >> have a read if you'd like, it can hit pretty hard to home.

I had a good day today.  Woke up around about 10am, went on the net for a while I think, and Mick rang me at around 12:30, and I met up with him for coffee at the coffee club.  It was great to see him again.  He's a really fun guy, and I'm glad that we are friends now.  Gosh that guy can talk!  Not that it's a bad thing at all haha, I laugh so much at some of the stuff he gets up to.  He's got like 3 or 4 guys chasing him and he's not interested in any of them - "They're all ugly" I believe was his reason.  Haha, so yeah we went to the Aspley Coffee Club.  2 times there in 2 days, gee it felt weird haha.  Yesterday i was there with Luke, and I told Mick about that.  I got through today totally fine without Luke being here.  Of course I miss him but I'm not gunna go all emotional-basketcase on him lol.  I sent him an SMS asking what to do about the quail hen's eggs, as she's got so many she can't sit on them all, and he messaged back to leave them and to see if I could try to find a bigger water dish, cos he won't be back until Sunday now.  I guess maybe he has found a way down to Albury?  That'd be cool.  I wonder what I can improvise with.  At the moment they are drinking from a jar-cap.  I can't get something that's too high cos they won't be able to reach the water - they are only tiny!  SO cute though.  It is so cool just to watch them running around.

I've noticed something with my typing.  Every single time I type the word "just", I pretty much ALWAYS spell it 'JSUT' - God it's annoying lol, i do it like every time haha, so i apologise for my lack of concentration when typing.  I obviously don't touch-type

For those of you who read my last entry and don't know, I used the term 'D&M' - It stands for "Deep and Meaningful", so Luke and I had a "D&M conversation" - there I feel like I've taught something today.

On the way back from seeing Mick, I decided to drive to taigum shopping centre to put a stop to my chocolate craving I've been having lately.  And yes of course I veered off to the electronics section and ended up buying 2 "Family Guy" dvd's didn't i? haha, oh well, I might watch some tonight.

I really can't believe I'm going to Melbourne on Thursday.  Here's me, guy who hardly travels anywhere except Toowoomba and back home to Millmerran at the most, going on a 2 and a bit hour plane flight to Melbourne, Victoria.  I've only ever been through the very top left hand corner of the Victorian state, which my dad and I drove to Adelaide back in 2000.  We drove over the Murray-Darling River, which I thought was HUGE.  I'm really looking forward to my trip.  I'm just (haha i just typed it wrong then grr) worried about everything not going smoothly.  Oh well, only one way to find out.  Tomorrow is going to be spent packing for Melbourne I think.  I know I'm going to try not to take too much stuff, just my small bag which i'll take on board, and probably my old school bag for some clothes which will go underneath.  I only want to take my small bag onboard, but wearing the same clothes for a week straight is rather gross in my book haha.  Ah well, I really should stop worrying since the Shappell Corby incident - If I get jailed for false drug-trafficing I'm sure you'll see me on the news too within the next week!  Hmmm I prob shouldn't joke about that, but ah well.  Should I get locks for my bag just incase? Nah bugger it I'll decide tomorrow, I'll prob be too lazy too anyway, dunno how locks would fit on the bag anyway.

Has anyone heard 'Catch my disease" by Ben Lee?  My close mate Sam loves it, but I really don't get the point of it.  How stupid.  It's like a school nursery rhyme.  I do like 'again' by Faith Evans at the moment, haven't heard from her in a few years.

Oh and Nadal winning the French Open, can't beleive I nearly forgot to mention it.  One of my favourite players.  He has an awesome athletic body, real pity about the face though.  I'm sure a lot of you might be into him though, hey each to their own!

I started talking to a really nice gay guy on the net tonight named Beau.  I hope I can actually make a decent gay friend like him, cos he seems like the fun hang-out type, not wanting to know my cock-size or fav sex positions, now that is hard to find, especially on a site like gaydar.  I'm glad I didn't meet Luke on the net or at a club.  Met him through a mutual friend, definitely the way to go cos that mutual friend can recommend the qualities of each person and relay them to the other, type-thing.  Gotta love Lindsay.  Wouldn't have met Luke without him.  I was gunna go to coffee with him today as well, but he's on his way home so we're gunna organise it another time.  I guess when I get back.  Oh and I have to meet Andrew yet as well, since he cancelled out meeting today.  If he hadn't I'd probably be at a McDonalds taking to him right now.

Oh and Jeff!!  Gosh have him and I had a massive revalation or what?  Jeff is the guy I've talked to on the net for years who lives in the USA.  I finally trusted him enough to give him the address to my diary.  He found out so much about me, from being gay to...gee I can't even type all the mischief I've gotten up to since I started this diary.  Anyway from that, he confirmed my suspicions that he was gay and hopefully we'll be a lot closer because of it.  He did get upset that in an entry AGES ago, I referred to him as a 'Freak' - whoops, totally forgot I wrote that - gotta be careful who you show your diaries too, especially when you're as open as I am in this diary.  haha.  Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts and advice.  As it says on my front page, the more you know about someone, the closer you can be to them.  I've recently realised the effects that having an Open Diary can have and the amazing extremely close friendships that can be formed through the conversing of one's diary's (or is it diaries hmm).  Some of you are so nice, and have the most interesting lives, and it's amazing that you can have the maturity and guts to share your thoughts with me.  I find it so amazing that there are so many people somewhere out there in this world (meaning you guys!) living the most amazing lives, each one totally different to the other.  I find myself wanting to read about real you guy's lives rather than the famous people in magazines, cos at least you guys have a life haha.  I really appreciate it, so thanks for having a diary on here I guess I'm tryna say lol.  Of course there are some I see and go 'omg haha' but the fact that pure honestly comes out on paper really is quite awesome.  I mean, I've noticed since starting a diary here (from the recommendation of my awesome friend Bill, from high school), I've even been not caring what I say in person to my friends haha - I seem to be letting it all let loose lately, and some of my friends are getting quite surprised at my sudden confidence in trusting them so much with normally-confidential information.  I guess I don't wanna cross the line so I probably should be careful, but hey I'm having fun I'm gunna go with it.  Take care guys!!

Notes: --------------------------------------------------------------------

I love Family Guy lol, my ex had all three seasons on dvd. Loved them. I actually like the Ben Lee song, its very catchy. [x2c] 6/7/2005 5:20:04 AM

Yeah I know what you mean about talking to guys online. I used to talk to a gay guy a couple of years ago and he was constantly asking me how big my cock is. I just told him it was big enough to get the job done. Matt you're an awesome guy and I love your OD!! Take care and I'll see you later.

Ben 6/7/2005 7:08:34 AM

i bet i'm one of those ones you read and go "ohmigosh..."!:P

I know what you mean though, somehow reading other people's diaries and knowing that their words haven't been edited and airbrushed by a professional, it's just raw emotion and raw, real LIFE...it's a lot more interesting and compelling than some tabloid headline screaming out who just broke up!:P take care! [dysfunctional_faerie] [p] 6/7/2005 8:08:53 AM

Oh man...meeting guys online...always fun. The real, sincere guys are definitely the best. I hope you're able to have fun if you two choose to hang out. I'm very excited for you about your trip to Melbourne. Have an excellent time and I hope it goes well. Be safe...always!!! I'll miss ya! Hugs,

-Chris [Ethereal Remains] 6/7/2005 12:00:33 PM

Oh...and that newspaper definitely hit close to home..literally. I'm from Ohio... [Ethereal Remains] 6/7/2005 12:01:19 PM

ohhhh i have an online guy that ive talked to for years too! and i just gave him my diary name/password like last year...i love it! :) and that poem is so sad...i've gotten it before in email and it just HITS me everytime :( xox

[[disco-lemonade]] 6/7/2005 1:40:28 PM

lol...

you know you dont like people asking about your cock size.. but I do believe in a couple entries ago you said something about it being big.

Just an observation..

Besides american big may not be Australia Big.

hmpt.

( but Im glad your excited about your trip, IM proud of you for taking that jump) [fries] 6/7/2005 4:12:53 PM

haha, i talk to gay guys on the net too! www.manhunt.net . . . . and i also have a gay friend named 'beau' . . . he e-mailed me one day and he's fifty something. maybe i can sleep my way into a good college? :-P (just kidding) . . . SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! i didn't write that. that is a very sad poem. where's it from? keep writing,

[Prince Zidane] [p] 6/7/2005 6:16:50 PM

by the way, you might appreciate 'Fantasy Diary' . . . excellent author.

[Prince Zidane] [p] 6/7/2005 6:17:15 PM

i know, opendiary does things to you, so much to read, so many lives to experience, ldkfsldkfj its a nice place, especcia;ly how friendly everyone is, woo [penfifteen] 6/7/2005 6:21:36 PM

You're so nice! Of course, that little kudos to the people that have an OD isn't meant for me, because I've been a bad lil noter, not leaving you notes and such. lol. I have been reading though. Sometimes I think that your life is more soap opera-ish than mine.... which is really hard to beat. [chikinstukrakir] 6/7/2005 10:14:38 PM

i added u 2 my faves : ) hope u have fun here in melbourne!! [butterflybabe13] 6/7/2005 11:30:56 PM

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Last updated May 11, 2014