12 - 18 in My Dream Journal

I was involved in some kind of life or death game that involved racing - but we all had to stay in this one big house that had similar vibes to a Hunger Games training centre.
Kyle was also involved in this game and I was on his team - we were still sleeping together in this dream but I don’t think we were an official couple. I remember us laying together and Kyle telling me that he loved the way I touched him. He seemed very very relaxed under my touch.
His mother hated me (unlike real life).
It was my turn to take part in the game again - I knew if I didn’t do this part that Kyle would be disqualified. I was willing and ready to go until Kyles mother came to visit me in the training centre in our living quarters. She said horrible things to me, calling me a slut and told me I needed to stay away from her son. She said after this game I was to never see him again.
I was devastated - I mean what was I doing this for if I couldn’t be with him.
I had to get in this car and allow Kyle to drive on the most dangerous road for hours on end to see how many of us could survive. It was made to kill people and only the strongest would make it and I intended to be one of them because I wanted Kyle and I to be the final 2 in our team and take the victory together. Except now this would never happen - his mother would never allow it. So I did what was best for me.
I walked right out the front door and didn’t look back. I had quit the game and in turn Kyle would be disqualified and have no chance at the victory. I messaged my own mother and told her why I had quit and she demanded to know what Kyles mother had said to me. I intended to make my way to her house and tell her everything that had happened but before I did I went to my phone to delete my online game character to make my resignation official. I sent one last message before I did so “I’m sorry - but I can’t risk my life for you when you allow your mother to speak to me the way she did - especially when you agreed to never seeing me again after this.”
I felt heartbroken and devastated it had come to this - I hated myself.
I went through all my social medias and began deleting every “ugly” photo of me I could see - the weird thing was is that the photo’s didn’t look like me at all. It was almost as if my sub conscious had created another person - the person who had dated Kyle and loved him and the real me. The woman I am now.
This dream to me was my way of letting Kyle go and moving on.
Learning to love myself and put myself before him.