Tears of desire in The OpenDiary (OD) Days!

Tears of Desire - 5/6/2005

        The sky was dark

The moon was high All alone just she and I Her hair was soft Her eyes were blue I knew just what She wanted to do Her skin so soft Her legs so fine I ran my fingers Down her spine I didn't know how But I tried my best I started by placing My hands on her breast I remember my fear My fast beating heart But slowly she spread Her legs apart And when I did it I felt no shame All at once The white stuff came At last it's finished It's all over now My first time ever At milking a cow...

For some reason today I'm very emotional.  Only really since I've arrived home.  Lukey was home from Toowoomba and, although he was now home, I felt like I was so wanting him.  I changed out of my work clothes and laid on the bed in a bid to keep warm, and he came in the room and noticed there were tears in my eyes.  I couldn't stop thinking of him and how much he meant to me.  I told him I loved him and that he is my angel.  Maybe somewhere inside I'm afraid of losing him.  He gets his test results back tomorrow which I know he's somewhat nervous about, and I guess I am too, especially when other stupid paranoia sets in.  Luke hugged me heaps until the point where I was just being too clingy and he really wanted to go shower.  I just felt like all the cuddling in the world was what I needed tonight from him.  Just to make me feel safe, to make me feel like everything is okay, as though his arms around my body would solve all problems and scaredness I was feeling inside.  Well I seem to be okay now so it must've worked :)  I'm off to join him now.  I'll probably be thinking of him constantly tomorrow as well.  Guess it all depends on how I sleep tonight.  Hope I get up early enough to pay rent tomorrow.  Gosh so this is how I become after 4 months of a relationship with the most incredible guy in the world, all mushy and gooey haha.  Something was just so 'up' tonight.  Probably just something sleep can help fix.  I hate when I get teary-emotional cos my thoughts work on over-drive, like delve really deeply into whatever I'm already thinking.  Sometimes to the point where it can be life-changing.  Thanks Luke, for stopping me before I got to that point.  You being there made it all better. 

Notes: --------------------------------------------------------------------

[Orange Blossom] 5/5/2005 12:18:24 PM

that will be on day...

hopefully. [fries] 5/5/2005 12:22:16 PM

sad voice

I've always wanted to be like that with someone. Unfortunately my life has been nothing but tragic so far... it's made look... well, like I'm too into my own neurotic far-away world... unapproachable and cold and emotionless... just plain... bleh. [Ness] 5/5/2005 12:52:56 PM

I know what you mean by getting wrapped up emotionally... if you read my past entries, you'll know what I mean. But it's not always a bad thing.... sometimes... hmm... anyways, thank you for letting me add you to my faves! Hope to read some more! [chikinstukrakir] 5/5/2005 4:52:31 PM

[Merlot...] 5/5/2005 8:59:24 PM

yeah i know that feeling too, of just needing to be held to feel safe...but i dont have ne1 yet:P, so i just fight it away and kick myself up the arse until it nicks off on its own:P. i'm glad you have sumbody 2 take care of you tho:).

LOL!! i loved the side entry bout milking a cow!:P:P nicely done!

well take care, i'll catch ya round:) [dysfunctional_faerie] 5/5/2005 9:18:51 PM

i wish I could be like that with someone. Perhaps I could start by even finding a guy in my own country to like - or better yet, moving over to yours. :)

RYN: Yeah it's nice being able to sleep in. Gotta get my sleep at some point, right? Again with the thoughts about moving to Aus, then I'd be in the same time zone as most of my friends and wouldn't have that problem. There wasn't as much ... 5/6/2005 5:28:31 AM

... stuff available at the Wednesday Market yet, that'll probably start around June or July. I must admit the one metric conversion I don't know is pounds to kilos - I can do just about every other one off the top of my head, though. :) Yeah my past couple entries were more like quizzes and such, not actual me-talking-to-the-reader-or-writing-in-a-real-diary entries. see you around. ♥

[~Tiffany~] 5/6/2005 5:35:10 AM

It's so wonderful that you have someone great that you can go to whenever you need him... It makes me really happy. --Matt [Matteo Al Monty] 5/7/2005 3:32:18 PM

Last updated May 08, 2014