Up Down Funk in Current Events

My anxiety was high the last few days. Toni and I resolved things, more or less, but I can’t seem to let it go. The more I think about it the more it just bothers me. I was opening up to her about what my family and I are going through with my grandmother and Toni turned it into a meal for herself. The safe and effective vaccine that is worth the risks has caused my grandmother to start getting blood clots. Toni responds by giving me an ultimatum about getting it so that she knows that I have job security for her. Then it turned into the Toni show that I wrote about a few entries back. Who does that?

The seed she planted about job insecurity is what triggered my anxiety, which I can manage. Following that is always depression but that is because I’ve shifted between paradigms, the shift being a new structure of thoughts and beliefs, big or small. I seem to grieve the previous belief structures and that is what my depression is. I can push through all of this pretty fast now. I just haven’t had a chance to respond to this existential crisis. I have Sunday to think about it because that is the only day that I have alone. I don’t want to have to be mindful of anyone else that may be present or near. I wouldn’t be triggered if what she mentioned didn’t already exist in me so that I food for thought indeed. I need to strategize here.

If I didn’t have my niece and nephew here I would flee to America. Arizona and Florida respect their constitution, the covid commies will be dead in two years and out of the way because the mRNA cannot be programmed to stop. My country is getting closer to having gulags and camps for the CCP. Speaking of my niece and nephew, I swung by to visit with them after my shift yesterday because I knew that would cheer me up. My nephew thought his sister stole his juice box and it broke his little spirit. Seeing kids hurt and crying is almost trauma for me. It shakes me to my very core because of my empathy. It was an easy fix to cheer him up but I can’t unsee that face. Then I think about how fallen from grace we are as a society and how we are not fighting hard enough for children. These covid commies are robbing children of their futures to feel protected from something that doesn’t exist in nature. Germ theory is debunked as fuck, it’s not real just because billions of people believe so. People are waking up, thank god. Keep kids away from the death-dealing doctor priests that suppress your ability to detox so that they can sell you medicine and treatments for the symptoms that just create more chronic illnesses later. It’s all a business model.

My order arrived yesterday evening. That was a plus. The cost of them is what I am impressed with the most. I’ll stick to buying them online. I have a dozen more or so that I want to order at the end of the month. I’ll tear through these ones over the summer and just keep adding to the pile.
The World’s Sixteen Crucified Saviors
The Holy Science
The Light of Egypt
The Zodiac and the Salts of Salvation
God-Man The Word Made Flesh

My country has Marxists burning down churches because of the residential schools. My people swallowed the soil so that the counterfeit Christianity could expand. We were not the first victims. I don’t agree with any of the rhetoric that is in the media, it’s obviously my own government behind it. Leftists are emotionally hijacked toddlers that go along with everything. Conservatives seem to have taken the bait here and are adding to the division. Well, at the least media is. Claiming that there is a war against Christianity. Now it’s their turn to victim signal and virtue signal and cancel culture and just do everything they think they’re better than the left for. Whatever. I just want to learn the esoteric sciences and then go try and give it back to humanity in some way. Those committed to the re-legions have no sovereign will which is fine, it will resonate with those who are meant to have it. The counterfeit Christians make it easy to show how demented and fragmented one becomes when they make themselves the measure of good and evil. That Bible is a double-edged sword, every sentence tells a lie and a truth. It adds truth to both directions but there can only be one true direction and it is the one that leads to the word of God, just as they all do. All cultures prophesize this turning of the age when it all returns. They used allegories that were subverted and taught back to be literal. It’s all so obvious once you know.

Anyway, I have been hiding from my DMs and comment sections, especially this one and I should probably interact with people. Or nah lol.