Rant, as per usual. in Current Events

I’m feeling petty today toward my roommate. I vented a little bit a few entries back. I’ve taken on the bulk of the expenses. Especially the bulk of the groceries. She eats everything in sight. She doesn’t really cook because she is a failed adult. Her version of cooking is heating things up. Everything she buys for herself is premade and dead. Then she feels dead. She dips into my meal prep which I said was fine when we moved in because we were splitting the grocery bills. She made the decision to not do that anymore but she continues to eat everything in sight like a 17-year-old. She has to be high all day long. It annoys me because I bought junk food for snacks so I can have something to snack on. Every single bag is open and half-eaten if not all eaten and I haven’t even touched it yet.

She does clean though. It started with strictly just the bathroom and her room. She finally expanded her horizons and will clean up after herself in the kitchen for when she does “cook”. There are stains all over the carpet in the living room that I keep having to scrub away and I have to scrub rings off the white countertop because she spills her wine and coffee. My couch also. Crumbs everywhere of course. When I do cook for the both of us she will critique it, like shut up. She then goes to her room and leaves me to clean up after us. It’s petty things like this that drive me nuts.

I just spent $60 on essential items yesterday. I am an adult, I was exhausted but we were almost out of toilet paper and she ate all our fruit and that’s all I eat for breakfast so, as always, I ran that errand. She was really about to let it run dry? I feel like I’m taking care of a teenager here. One who gives me attitude. I will try and talk to her, to be friendly, and she will stare right through me even she even bothers to look in my direction because she will not respond and just go to her room. Fucking rude. When we do talk and I take the conversation away from being about her she may or may not get snarky. She has a history of giving me attitude whenever she starts to feel stupid also which tends to happen when I speak, apparently. I use too many big words according to her. I discuss things that she cannot understand and thus she doesn’t believe that I should have the capacity to understand them myself. She’s so weird. She explained why she gets like this to me and she didn’t even realize she did it. She realized, with the help of her psychologist, that she always compares herself to others. Her brother in particular and she always falls short and that makes her feel jaded. So when I make her feel stupid she gets mad at me as if I attacked her, I guess.

I’m bitter today because we are both off. She will be here all day long. She doesn’t do anything. Ever. She doesn’t go anywhere beyond a walk or run. She has no other friends and doesn’t even try. The reason for this is because she is deeply codependent and will build her entire existence around a guy. One who is garbage to her if not to society altogether. She falls off the face of the earth whenever she in a relationship. She can’t generate her own self-esteem, self-confidence, self-love, self-respect, self-worth etc. That has to come from someone else.

There are, of course, other little things that grind my gears. Our suite has one and a half bathrooms. We each have our own, hers has the shower and mine has the in-suite laundry. The railing to hang towels on is always full with her stuff. Not a big deal, I can hang mine on the shower rod. She bought a mat for the floor which she hangs up after. It looks soaked, does she not stand in the shower when she dries herself off? To avoid soaking the floor? My old roommate never did that, it’s simple logic.

Whatever, I’m just really bitter today first thing in the morning. That’s another thing, I get up very early because I like spending mornings alone. I don’t want to have to be mindful of anyone. She crashes that party every single day. She turns the lights off too when I’m in the room because she forgets I exist. I am inside that room and have the light on for a reason. She makes a lot of noise and she doesn’t even have to be up. She usually sleeps in all day but I can tell that I am the one waking her up. I think she likes the structure. Whatever, if I try and add self-awareness to her she will react dramatically because narcissism. She is not a pathological narcissist, she does have some empathy and some self-awareness but she is very committed to her narcissism. She is an adult trying to meet her childhood needs which is basically everybody because they’re spiritually dead and don’t do introspection. They externalize absolutely everything. Whenever we start talking about self-improvement journeys she acts too good for anything I talk about. Her answer has to be medication because that’s what this external culture does. The answer has to be outside the self. Whatever, not my problem.

The obvious thing to do here is to talk to her. I’ll get around to it. I’ve been vibing pretty low. I have the unfortunate awareness that we are in the middle of a war against globalists while everybody else is sleepwalking through life. They’re not living they are being lived. They’re spiritually dead. I was that just over a year ago before I woke up out of that trance. Their thinking is so fucking small it hurts because it is like trying to talk to a five-year-old about Santa not being real. I could rant about that all day and we know that because that is what I do on here. I have to vent.

The truth is stranger than fiction and that journey is one that we have to do on our own because everything we were taught to believe is a lie. How are we supposed to convince someone who never questions their beliefs that the language we use day to day is like black magic and the symbols we see everywhere are like magic ruins that speak to your subconscious to keep you dumb, dull, and dependant on a system that we do not need? Life is not supposed to be this way, we are not supposed to be thinking about fictions and trying to expand into these fictions. These things exist only in our concepts. We are being lived, we are not living. Consciousness is what will save us and the esoteric sciences are real and those who are waking up out of that trance have the burden of trying to wake others up who just want to go back to sleepwalking through life. Go back to dreaming someone else’s dream, thinking someone else’s thoughts, believing someone else’s beliefs etc. There is a great split right now between the two paradigms and the old one is dying. These times feel biblical because they are. The real message of the bible that is. The demented counterfeit Christians think a messiah is coming to save them, they’re not worthy of that. Nobody is. We consented to all of it, we created this garbage world. It’s all built on presumed consent. It’s hidden in our language and symbols. What is coming is Christ consciousness. Every culture is the devil to the counterfeit ones because their reality is fragmented because they make themselves the measure of good and evil and since they earnestly believe they stand on the moral high ground everything else must be evil. Every culture has this moment in time in their lore and allegories as a prophecy. It’s all about the stars, we just entered the golden age and in every golden age we wake up. We re-member who we are by discovering the heritage that was stolen from us. We can’t know what awake is unless people are asleep. There is no Jesus is the only way cultural genocide needed. Just plug it all back to the stars because the tower of Babylon is our spines and the language we all spoke was the word of god, Astro logos, astrology. The truth will find those that are meant to have it. Just have to throw it out there and they will do the rest on their own. Their god-given power of discernment will take it from there. The counterfeit ones will just run to their subverted book and fuel up on bias. They can wait like the q-anons for a magic plan that isn’t coming. God didn’t send a messiah he sent us. It was a clever trick to make us externalize our own salvation. The indigenous children in my country being dug up (to build public opinion about Bill C-15) is the price that is demanded by these counterfeit ones. Jesus is the only way. Fucking radicals.

My grandmother is still in the hospital. She is clotting as to be expected when you sign up for an experimental medical protocol. It’s not a vaccine, it does nothing a vaccine does. Within their pseudoscience how is it even going to build “antibodies” against something that is not present in the body or vaccine? Nobody thinks anything through. Anyway, she didn’t want it, my mother makes her medical decisions and signed my grandmother up. My mother is, of course, in denial about it. She needs the news to tell her what to think and she thinks I’m the schizophrenic one because I call the news fake. It is China-level propaganda and all you need is to apply simple logic and reason to unbake their narratives. People are that cognitively hijacked, Gen X+ especially. Absolute write-offs. If they haven’t woken up already they never will. They are zero percent better than those who committed to the NAZI propaganda. I never thought I would witness people agree and cheer to segregation, cutting seniors off from society, removing a persons right to earn a living, getting forced into isolation camps, and forcing children to take an experimental medical protocol that has never worked in the history of history. These people are disgusting, they are vile and profane and the karma that is coming for them is going to be absolutely catosprtophic and they still don’t deserve it. I want them to go back to normal and back to their little lives also but that is not where they are taking us. Whatever, those people will be dead within two years and will no longer be a burden on society which is absolutely tragic but they made their choices. They chose to voluntarily brainwash themselves. The only victims are their children who could not consent. This is absolutely wicked and evil what is happening to humanity but they do not want to break their illusion of safety and will die protecting it. Blah. I’ve seen that I am not the only one who just wants that to happen already so we can grieve the loss of life and then move on with what needs to be done.

Ok, it’s Chinada day so I should go do something now. Ta