23 - 02 - 21 in Diary of a Useless Lesbian

I’ve never actually tried to put my feelings for Sim into words. Probably because there are no words good enough and great enough to describe them. I am just so in love with her and there are no words on this earth that can describe how happy she makes me. It’s almost like I was living my whole life in black and white and then after I met Sim everything just became bold and beautiful and colourful. She “doesn’t do beautiful” so I never tell her this but she is honestly the most beautiful person I have ever met. I don’t even mean it in just the physical sense (Although she is very attractive and looks more handsome in a button up shirt than any other person I know) I mean she is beautiful in the sense that I have never met a person that can be so supportive, so kind, so caring and genuinely looks at me with nothing but true love in her eyes.
Her eyes! Now they are beautiful! I have to stop myself from looking at them for too long because it is so easy to just get lost in them. Sometimes I already stare at her for way too long, she hardly ever catches me though. I do it mostly when she isn’t looking - I’m afraid if she caught me staring it might make her uncomfortable or something.
I’ve never been so proud to call someone my girlfriend. She is so perfect for me in every way, even in ways that I didn’t know I needed a person to be. She’s just brought me such genuine happiness. I don’t think I’ve felt this happy since I held AJ for the first time. If I had to choose a flaw about her it would be that she never believes me when I tell her how amazing she is. Sometimes I wish she could see herself through my eyes, she would never doubt me again if she could. She makes me laugh more than any person ever has. I have never felt so special, so comfortable and so taken care of. I’ve never put my heart and soul into a relationship this way before. Never had such a strong desire t cherish someone and make them as happy as possible. But with her I would do literally anything to see her smile.
Mind, body and soul she owns it all. Don’t even get me started on the sex holy shit! Everything about it from start to finish is just incredible. Every time she touches me my body tingles and wants more.. Sometimes I have to stop her because it feels so intense for me that the vulnerability of it all scares me.
My feelings for her in general scare me sometimes, what if she leaves? I know if she ever did.. Well actually I don’t.. I have no idea what I would do. Thing is though she makes me feel so secure and safe and happy. She’s the one person I know I can trust with anything and everything. The one person who knows me inside and out but has never judged me or made me feel bad for the things I have said or done. She just loves me unconditionally and I feel the same way about her.