Balance in Whey and Sonic Screwdrivers.

Moderation may be a theme I've known for a long time, but it's quite apt when applied to EVERYTHING. For a very long time, I've self-identified as a sub. Yet in relationships, I end up taking on some sort of care-taker role, usually at the cost of my own needs. Put simply, I need an equal switch. When I give, I give completely. I trust and stuff, and I need someone who can handle me completely unfiltered. I'm not excusing my lack of tact, I'm just being honest about it. I say shit and I don't always have the strength to make it shiny.

I end up taking care of people anyway. I just want someone who can also equally take care of me. Too long have I put aside my own needs for someone else. I need to know there can be balance where she'll put aside her needs in just the same way. So in the end, we express what we need from the other and find a way to make it work. Communication.

I said I need an "equal switch". Because all the years I've self-identified as a sub, it never really made sense in my head to date a completely dominant woman. That would imply, in some sense, she'd be taking care of me, but I wouldn't be taking care of her. Accurate or not of the D/s relationship, I just don't see any kind of relationship like that ever being satisfying. I LIKE taking care of people I care about! I like being thoughtful, being emotionally supportive, being comforting. And I think it only makes sense to demand, not want, demand that in prospective partners.

I eat damn good pussy and it's not fair to Timmy that I'm not satisfying in a similar way. SUCK MY BALLS then cuddle me. Spoil me the way I spoil you. Balance.